Chapter 05

Chapter 5: The President's Problem

Chapter 5: The President's Problem

Scarlett Vance had a system for everything, and the system was the reason she was still standing.

Problems came in two kinds. There were problems that fit a folder - the predictable, recurring sort, the timetable clashes and budget shortfalls and squabbling committee members, things she could resolve with a procedure and a firm word and then file away, closed, handled. And there were problems that did not fit a folder, the rare and dangerous kind, and the trick with those was to keep working until you found an angle from which they did. There was always an angle. In seventeen years of running, in one way or another, everything that came within her reach, Scarlett had never met a problem she couldn't eventually file.

Until this morning. Until a red pen.

"- and that concludes the east wing," she heard herself say, in the crisp briefing voice she used for things she had committed to memory. "Science labs on the upper floors, language rooms below. The layout repeats in the west wing, mirrored. You'll find it intuitive once you've walked it twice."

"Got it," said Leo Evans, walking half a pace behind her with his bag on his own shoulder and his hands in his pockets, looking around with the mild, unbothered interest of a person on a pleasant if slightly dull museum tour. "Mirrored. That's helpful, actually. Thanks."

Scarlett kept her eyes forward and her chin level and did not, absolutely did not, think about the pen.

It was an absurd thing to be thinking about. It was a pen. He had picked up a pen. People picked up pens. The fact that no man had ever once in her entire life picked up anything for her, the fact that the simple sight of him bending down without being asked had detonated something in her chest that she still hadn't managed to fully extinguish three full periods later - that was nothing. That was a curiosity. An anomaly in the data. And anomalies in the data were simply problems that hadn't been filed yet.

So. File it. She was the President. She could file anything.

The trouble was the angle. She kept turning the boy over in her mind, looking for the one from which he'd make sense, and she kept not finding it.

He didn't behave like any boy she'd ever encountered, and she had encountered her share - Silverleaf's small precious population of them, courted and escorted and faintly bored by all the attention, accustomed from birth to being the center of every room and acting like it. They expected to be waited on. They expected the doors and the carried bags and the offered waters; they accepted it as their due, some graciously, some less so, but all of them as the natural order of things. That was normal. That fit a folder. She knew exactly how to manage a boy like that: politely, efficiently, at a professional distance.

Leo Evans fit nothing. He carried his own bag and seemed unaware there was any other option. He'd held a door for a girl this morning - she'd heard about it; the whole school had heard about it by second period - and picked books up off the floor, and handed her a pen, and apologized, genuinely apologized, as if he might have done something wrong, as if the possibility of having inconvenienced her was the thing that worried him. He moved through the most boy-obsessed environment on earth radiating a complete and total ignorance of his own value, and the ignorance wasn't an act. She'd watched for it. She watched everyone for it; reading people was half her job. There was no calculation in him, no angle of his own. He simply, baffingly, didn't know.

And that, Scarlett told herself firmly, was precisely why he was a problem. An unknowing boy, this oblivious, this constantly and accidentally provocative, loose in a school like Silverleaf - the disruption potential was enormous. The whispers alone, in a single morning. It was a Council matter. It was about order. Her interest in Leo Evans was entirely, exclusively, professionally about order.

This was a lie, and somewhere beneath the level where she allowed herself to look, Scarlett knew it was a lie. But it was a well-constructed one, and it held, and she leaned her weight on it and kept walking.

They turned a corner into a quieter corridor, and a younger student coming the other way - small, harried, clearly lost, a first-year by the look of her - dropped a worksheet, and before Scarlett could so much as register it, Leo had crouched, retrieved it, and offered it back with a easy "Here you go - you alright? You look a bit turned around. Office is just down there if you're after it."

The first-year took her worksheet and her directions and fled, scarlet-faced. Leo straightened, unbothered, and fell back into step.

Scarlett stared at the side of his face for a beat longer than she meant to.

He did it to everyone. That was the thing. It wasn't aimed. The pen, the door, the books, the lost child - he dispensed these small attentions in every direction with exactly the same unthinking warmth, asking after a stranger's wellbeing as readily as he'd handed back her pen. She didn't know why that observation should sit so strangely in her, why some part of her had apparently wanted the pen to mean something particular and felt an irrational flicker of - what, displacement? - at the evidence that it hadn't.

She shut that down hard. Ridiculous.

They walked. She heard herself shift, against her own better judgment, out of the briefing and into the interrogation, because if she couldn't file him she could at least gather data.

"You're not from Oakhaven," she said. Not a question.

"No," Leo agreed. "Pretty far from here, actually. It's - complicated. I moved recently."

"From where?"

A pause, just a beat too long. "Hard to explain," he said, and there was something careful under the lightness, something he was stepping around. "Different sort of place. Honestly I'm still getting used to how things work here."

Different sort of place. That, at least, tracked - it would explain the strangeness, a boy raised somewhere with other customs, other rules. She tucked the fragment away. "And you don't find it - " she searched for a neutral word " - unusual. The way you do things."

"The way I -?" He looked genuinely puzzled, and then a little embarrassed, scrubbing the back of his neck with one hand. "I keep getting that. People keep looking at me like I've done something weird and I honestly can't always tell what. I'm just trying to be normal. Polite, you know? Not be any trouble." He gave a small rueful laugh. "Doing a bad job of it, apparently. I didn't mean to cause a fuss this morning. I'll try to keep my head down better."

Not be any trouble. Keep my head down. He said it the way you'd state a settled fact about yourself, with no self-pity in it, just a quiet matter-of-fact wish to take up as little space as possible - and Scarlett, who took up as much space as a person possibly could and held it by main force every single day, felt the observation snag on her oddly, like a thread pulling.

She didn't have a folder for a boy who wanted to be invisible either. Boys here did not want to be invisible. The world would not let them be.

"Hm," she said, which gave nothing away, and the word was supposed to close the topic.

It was Leo who didn't let it close.

They'd reached a stairwell, and Scarlett shifted her stack of folders higher in her arms - there were a great many of them; there always were; today's load was heavier than most, three committees' worth of paperwork she'd be up past midnight with - and she did it automatically, without thought, the same way she did everything, absorbing the weight and the strain into the smooth unbroken surface of being fine. She had been carrying things she was too tired to carry for so long that she no longer registered it as anything but the texture of being alive.

Leo registered it.

"That looks like a lot," he said, nodding at the folders, and then, simply, with no flourish at all: "Want a hand? I can take half. You've been hauling those the whole way round."

Scarlett stopped on the second stair.

Her first instinct, fast and absolute, was the answer she gave to everyone, the answer that was the keystone of the entire arch of her: "I can manage." It came out flatter and quicker than she intended. "I don't need help carrying my own files."

"Okay," Leo said easily, not pushing, no offense taken. "Just offering. They looked heavy, that's all."

And he let it go, and that should have been the end of it. But Scarlett stood frozen on the stair with three committees' worth of paper biting into her arms, and the thing that had detonated over the pen detonated again, quieter and deeper, because it wasn't the offer that had got her. People offered her things constantly - favors, flattery, things they wanted noticed. It was that he had seen the strain. You've been hauling those the whole way round. He had watched her perform fine for an entire tour, the performance she'd spent years perfecting, the performance that fooled teachers and committees and her own family, and somewhere underneath it he had simply, accurately, seen that she was tired and carrying too much and that it was costing her something.

Nobody saw that. That was the entire point of the performance. She had built it precisely so that nobody would see that, because in the Vance arithmetic she'd been raised on, to be seen straining was to be seen as weak, and weakness was a debt you placed on other people, and she would die before she was anybody's debt. So she hid it. She hid it perfectly. She had hidden it so well, for so long, that some lonely unexamined corner of her had stopped believing it was even possible to be seen at all.

And a strange oblivious boy on a stairwell had glanced at her arms and seen it in thirty seconds.

She was, she realized with something close to alarm, in danger of feeling her eyes sting, which was absolutely unacceptable, on a Tuesday, in a public stairwell, over an offer to carry some folders.

"The tour is concluded," Scarlett announced, far too abruptly, already moving, taking the stairs fast enough that her heels rang on the stone. "You have the layout. You'll find your afternoon classes on the schedule in your welcome packet. If you have further questions, the Council office posts hours on the door."

"Oh - okay," came Leo's voice behind her, faintly surprised by the sudden velocity. "Right. Thank you, really, this was - "

But she was already gone, around the turn of the stair and away, fleeing at a brisk dignified march from a boy who had committed the unforgivable offense of being kind to her without being asked.

She did not go back to class. She went to the Council office, let herself in, shut the door, set the folders down on the desk with exaggerated care, and stood for a moment in the quiet with her hands flat on the cool wood, breathing.

Then she sat down, and she took the red pen out of her pocket - she'd put it in her pocket, she realized, she'd been carrying it in her pocket all morning instead of back in its place in the row, and she didn't examine why - and she set it on the desk in front of her and looked at it.

It was a perfectly ordinary pen.

"It's a pen," she said aloud, to the empty office, with the firmness of someone laying down the law. "It is a pen, and he is a disruptive and inexplicable new student, and the only reason - the only reason - I am giving him this much attention is that an unmanaged variable of his magnitude poses a clear risk to the good order of this school, and it is my responsibility to assess and contain that risk. That is all. That is the entirety of it."

The office said nothing. The pen said nothing. Somewhere far down beneath the President and the eldest daughter and the keeper of all the plates, in the small dark room she kept locked and never visited, a much younger and much quieter voice said: it felt nice. When he asked if you needed help. When he saw. It felt nice, and you can't remember the last time anything felt like that, and that is what actually scares you.

Scarlett shut the door on that voice with the ease of long practice.

But she didn't put the pen back in the row. She left it sitting out on the desk where she could see it, and she pretended that was an accident.

She needed, she decided - reaching, with relief, for the comfort of a plan - more data. The assessment was incomplete. One tour was insufficient to properly evaluate a variable of this complexity; responsible risk management required sustained observation. It would be remiss of her, as President, to do anything less. And the most efficient setting for sustained observation, the most controlled environment, the one where she could continue to fulfill her integration duties while keeping the disruptive new element under appropriate scrutiny, was obviously - obviously - over a working lunch. In the Council office. Where she could keep an eye on him.

It was an excellent justification. It was procedurally sound. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that, sitting alone in her office looking at a pen she wouldn't put away, Scarlett Vance had been visited by the dawning, unwelcome, thoroughly destabilizing suspicion that she would quite like to be near that boy again - and that this, of all the problems she had ever faced, might be the one she could not file.

She pulled a fresh sheet of paper toward her, uncapped a different pen - a blue one, a safe one - and wrote, in her small ferocious hand, a note inviting the new student to a lunchtime orientation meeting in the Student Council office, citing two relevant bylaws, neither of which actually applied.

Then she underlined it twice, the way she underlined the things that mattered, and sat looking at it, and told herself, for what was by no means the last time, that it was nothing but procedure.

It was going to be a very long term.

You've reached the end of this chapter

Chapter 05

Chapter 5: The President's Problem

Chapter 5: The President's Problem

Scarlett Vance had a system for everything, and the system was the reason she was still standing.

Problems came in two kinds. There were problems that fit a folder - the predictable, recurring sort, the timetable clashes and budget shortfalls and squabbling committee members, things she could resolve with a procedure and a firm word and then file away, closed, handled. And there were problems that did not fit a folder, the rare and dangerous kind, and the trick with those was to keep working until you found an angle from which they did. There was always an angle. In seventeen years of running, in one way or another, everything that came within her reach, Scarlett had never met a problem she couldn't eventually file.

Until this morning. Until a red pen.

"- and that concludes the east wing," she heard herself say, in the crisp briefing voice she used for things she had committed to memory. "Science labs on the upper floors, language rooms below. The layout repeats in the west wing, mirrored. You'll find it intuitive once you've walked it twice."

"Got it," said Leo Evans, walking half a pace behind her with his bag on his own shoulder and his hands in his pockets, looking around with the mild, unbothered interest of a person on a pleasant if slightly dull museum tour. "Mirrored. That's helpful, actually. Thanks."

Scarlett kept her eyes forward and her chin level and did not, absolutely did not, think about the pen.

It was an absurd thing to be thinking about. It was a pen. He had picked up a pen. People picked up pens. The fact that no man had ever once in her entire life picked up anything for her, the fact that the simple sight of him bending down without being asked had detonated something in her chest that she still hadn't managed to fully extinguish three full periods later - that was nothing. That was a curiosity. An anomaly in the data. And anomalies in the data were simply problems that hadn't been filed yet.

So. File it. She was the President. She could file anything.

The trouble was the angle. She kept turning the boy over in her mind, looking for the one from which he'd make sense, and she kept not finding it.

He didn't behave like any boy she'd ever encountered, and she had encountered her share - Silverleaf's small precious population of them, courted and escorted and faintly bored by all the attention, accustomed from birth to being the center of every room and acting like it. They expected to be waited on. They expected the doors and the carried bags and the offered waters; they accepted it as their due, some graciously, some less so, but all of them as the natural order of things. That was normal. That fit a folder. She knew exactly how to manage a boy like that: politely, efficiently, at a professional distance.

Leo Evans fit nothing. He carried his own bag and seemed unaware there was any other option. He'd held a door for a girl this morning - she'd heard about it; the whole school had heard about it by second period - and picked books up off the floor, and handed her a pen, and apologized, genuinely apologized, as if he might have done something wrong, as if the possibility of having inconvenienced her was the thing that worried him. He moved through the most boy-obsessed environment on earth radiating a complete and total ignorance of his own value, and the ignorance wasn't an act. She'd watched for it. She watched everyone for it; reading people was half her job. There was no calculation in him, no angle of his own. He simply, baffingly, didn't know.

And that, Scarlett told herself firmly, was precisely why he was a problem. An unknowing boy, this oblivious, this constantly and accidentally provocative, loose in a school like Silverleaf - the disruption potential was enormous. The whispers alone, in a single morning. It was a Council matter. It was about order. Her interest in Leo Evans was entirely, exclusively, professionally about order.

This was a lie, and somewhere beneath the level where she allowed herself to look, Scarlett knew it was a lie. But it was a well-constructed one, and it held, and she leaned her weight on it and kept walking.

They turned a corner into a quieter corridor, and a younger student coming the other way - small, harried, clearly lost, a first-year by the look of her - dropped a worksheet, and before Scarlett could so much as register it, Leo had crouched, retrieved it, and offered it back with a easy "Here you go - you alright? You look a bit turned around. Office is just down there if you're after it."

The first-year took her worksheet and her directions and fled, scarlet-faced. Leo straightened, unbothered, and fell back into step.

Scarlett stared at the side of his face for a beat longer than she meant to.

He did it to everyone. That was the thing. It wasn't aimed. The pen, the door, the books, the lost child - he dispensed these small attentions in every direction with exactly the same unthinking warmth, asking after a stranger's wellbeing as readily as he'd handed back her pen. She didn't know why that observation should sit so strangely in her, why some part of her had apparently wanted the pen to mean something particular and felt an irrational flicker of - what, displacement? - at the evidence that it hadn't.

She shut that down hard. Ridiculous.

They walked. She heard herself shift, against her own better judgment, out of the briefing and into the interrogation, because if she couldn't file him she could at least gather data.

"You're not from Oakhaven," she said. Not a question.

"No," Leo agreed. "Pretty far from here, actually. It's - complicated. I moved recently."

"From where?"

A pause, just a beat too long. "Hard to explain," he said, and there was something careful under the lightness, something he was stepping around. "Different sort of place. Honestly I'm still getting used to how things work here."

Different sort of place. That, at least, tracked - it would explain the strangeness, a boy raised somewhere with other customs, other rules. She tucked the fragment away. "And you don't find it - " she searched for a neutral word " - unusual. The way you do things."

"The way I -?" He looked genuinely puzzled, and then a little embarrassed, scrubbing the back of his neck with one hand. "I keep getting that. People keep looking at me like I've done something weird and I honestly can't always tell what. I'm just trying to be normal. Polite, you know? Not be any trouble." He gave a small rueful laugh. "Doing a bad job of it, apparently. I didn't mean to cause a fuss this morning. I'll try to keep my head down better."

Not be any trouble. Keep my head down. He said it the way you'd state a settled fact about yourself, with no self-pity in it, just a quiet matter-of-fact wish to take up as little space as possible - and Scarlett, who took up as much space as a person possibly could and held it by main force every single day, felt the observation snag on her oddly, like a thread pulling.

She didn't have a folder for a boy who wanted to be invisible either. Boys here did not want to be invisible. The world would not let them be.

"Hm," she said, which gave nothing away, and the word was supposed to close the topic.

It was Leo who didn't let it close.

They'd reached a stairwell, and Scarlett shifted her stack of folders higher in her arms - there were a great many of them; there always were; today's load was heavier than most, three committees' worth of paperwork she'd be up past midnight with - and she did it automatically, without thought, the same way she did everything, absorbing the weight and the strain into the smooth unbroken surface of being fine. She had been carrying things she was too tired to carry for so long that she no longer registered it as anything but the texture of being alive.

Leo registered it.

"That looks like a lot," he said, nodding at the folders, and then, simply, with no flourish at all: "Want a hand? I can take half. You've been hauling those the whole way round."

Scarlett stopped on the second stair.

Her first instinct, fast and absolute, was the answer she gave to everyone, the answer that was the keystone of the entire arch of her: "I can manage." It came out flatter and quicker than she intended. "I don't need help carrying my own files."

"Okay," Leo said easily, not pushing, no offense taken. "Just offering. They looked heavy, that's all."

And he let it go, and that should have been the end of it. But Scarlett stood frozen on the stair with three committees' worth of paper biting into her arms, and the thing that had detonated over the pen detonated again, quieter and deeper, because it wasn't the offer that had got her. People offered her things constantly - favors, flattery, things they wanted noticed. It was that he had seen the strain. You've been hauling those the whole way round. He had watched her perform fine for an entire tour, the performance she'd spent years perfecting, the performance that fooled teachers and committees and her own family, and somewhere underneath it he had simply, accurately, seen that she was tired and carrying too much and that it was costing her something.

Nobody saw that. That was the entire point of the performance. She had built it precisely so that nobody would see that, because in the Vance arithmetic she'd been raised on, to be seen straining was to be seen as weak, and weakness was a debt you placed on other people, and she would die before she was anybody's debt. So she hid it. She hid it perfectly. She had hidden it so well, for so long, that some lonely unexamined corner of her had stopped believing it was even possible to be seen at all.

And a strange oblivious boy on a stairwell had glanced at her arms and seen it in thirty seconds.

She was, she realized with something close to alarm, in danger of feeling her eyes sting, which was absolutely unacceptable, on a Tuesday, in a public stairwell, over an offer to carry some folders.

"The tour is concluded," Scarlett announced, far too abruptly, already moving, taking the stairs fast enough that her heels rang on the stone. "You have the layout. You'll find your afternoon classes on the schedule in your welcome packet. If you have further questions, the Council office posts hours on the door."

"Oh - okay," came Leo's voice behind her, faintly surprised by the sudden velocity. "Right. Thank you, really, this was - "

But she was already gone, around the turn of the stair and away, fleeing at a brisk dignified march from a boy who had committed the unforgivable offense of being kind to her without being asked.

She did not go back to class. She went to the Council office, let herself in, shut the door, set the folders down on the desk with exaggerated care, and stood for a moment in the quiet with her hands flat on the cool wood, breathing.

Then she sat down, and she took the red pen out of her pocket - she'd put it in her pocket, she realized, she'd been carrying it in her pocket all morning instead of back in its place in the row, and she didn't examine why - and she set it on the desk in front of her and looked at it.

It was a perfectly ordinary pen.

"It's a pen," she said aloud, to the empty office, with the firmness of someone laying down the law. "It is a pen, and he is a disruptive and inexplicable new student, and the only reason - the only reason - I am giving him this much attention is that an unmanaged variable of his magnitude poses a clear risk to the good order of this school, and it is my responsibility to assess and contain that risk. That is all. That is the entirety of it."

The office said nothing. The pen said nothing. Somewhere far down beneath the President and the eldest daughter and the keeper of all the plates, in the small dark room she kept locked and never visited, a much younger and much quieter voice said: it felt nice. When he asked if you needed help. When he saw. It felt nice, and you can't remember the last time anything felt like that, and that is what actually scares you.

Scarlett shut the door on that voice with the ease of long practice.

But she didn't put the pen back in the row. She left it sitting out on the desk where she could see it, and she pretended that was an accident.

She needed, she decided - reaching, with relief, for the comfort of a plan - more data. The assessment was incomplete. One tour was insufficient to properly evaluate a variable of this complexity; responsible risk management required sustained observation. It would be remiss of her, as President, to do anything less. And the most efficient setting for sustained observation, the most controlled environment, the one where she could continue to fulfill her integration duties while keeping the disruptive new element under appropriate scrutiny, was obviously - obviously - over a working lunch. In the Council office. Where she could keep an eye on him.

It was an excellent justification. It was procedurally sound. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that, sitting alone in her office looking at a pen she wouldn't put away, Scarlett Vance had been visited by the dawning, unwelcome, thoroughly destabilizing suspicion that she would quite like to be near that boy again - and that this, of all the problems she had ever faced, might be the one she could not file.

She pulled a fresh sheet of paper toward her, uncapped a different pen - a blue one, a safe one - and wrote, in her small ferocious hand, a note inviting the new student to a lunchtime orientation meeting in the Student Council office, citing two relevant bylaws, neither of which actually applied.

Then she underlined it twice, the way she underlined the things that mattered, and sat looking at it, and told herself, for what was by no means the last time, that it was nothing but procedure.

It was going to be a very long term.

You've reached the end of this chapter