Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Don't Ever Flirt with My Employees

Chapter 14: Don't Ever Flirt with My Employees

I do not plan to go to the editorial meeting.

I am on the second floor reviewing the Malta unwinding strategy with Enzo, who flew in from Palermo this morning and is the most reliable man I have for financial architecture, when I hear it through the glass wall of the conference room: her voice, in the corridor, and then Julius Vasquez's voice answering, and then a sound that is not quite laughter but is in its vicinity.

I look through the glass.

They are walking toward the editorial floor. He is saying something with the easy warmth he deploys for everything, the specific quality of a man who has never had to work for rooms to like him and has not therefore developed the discipline of earning it. She is walking beside him and her head is tilted slightly and the expression on her face is the one she has when something has caught her off-guard in a way she finds genuinely entertaining.

I have seen that expression twice. Both times it was directed at me.

Enzo says something about the Limassol timeline. I answer him correctly without redirecting my attention from the corridor, which is a skill I have had occasion to develop.

"Shall I continue?" Enzo says, with the tone of someone who has just understood that continuing is not the immediate priority.

"Take a break," I say. "Twenty minutes."

---

The editorial meeting is already underway when I arrive on the floor.

I do not enter the conference room. I stand in the corridor outside the glass wall and I watch. This is, I acknowledge, behavior that would not withstand examination, but I am not currently in the business of examining it.

She is at the head of the table. The meeting is about cover design — I gather this from the images spread across the table, from the way the conversation is moving between the visual elements and the commercial positioning. She has opinions. They are specific and they are right, which I can tell not from knowing anything about book cover design but from watching the room react to them, the specific shift of people who have been brought to a conclusion they hadn't reached yet and are recognizing it.

Julius is two seats down from her. He says something. She considers it seriously, which tells me it has merit. She responds. He says something else, shorter, and the room laughs, and she does the thing I have seen twice now, the head tilt and the expression that is not quite laughter but is in its vicinity.

I look at Julius Vasquez with the attention I bring to things I have decided to address.

The assessment is quick and it is fair, because I am capable of being fair about things I find inconvenient: he is thirty-two and competent and has been the operational anchor of her company for three years and genuinely cares about her in a way that is visible in every room he shares with her, and she trusts him, and the trust is earned. I understand all of this.

I also understand that he has called my wife by a name that only people who have known her for years use, and he has been doing it in my presence without apparently understanding that this requires reassessment. He is not a threat in the operational sense. He has no leverage, no dangerous access, no affiliation that puts him in conflict with anything I am managing.

He is a threat in the sense that he has three years of easy warmth with her and I have one month, and the specific expression she is wearing right now is the expression I want directed at me, and it is currently directed at him, and I find this information extremely actionable.

The meeting ends at noon.

I have been standing in the corridor for forty minutes.

This is not behavior I would have predicted for myself a month ago. I am a man who does not linger in corridors. I move between destinations with the efficiency of someone who has calibrated his time precisely and does not spend it on things that do not produce outcomes. Standing outside a glass wall watching a publishing meeting does not produce outcomes.

Except.

Except that I have watched her redirect three separate tangents back to the central question with the precision of someone who can feel when a room is losing its thread, and I have watched her look at a cover image for eight seconds and then name exactly what is wrong with it in terms the designer immediately understood, and I have watched her make a decision, reverse it, and explain the reversal so clearly that the room was more confident after the reversal than before the original decision.

And I have watched Julius Vasquez watch her do all of this with the specific expression of someone who has been watching this for three years and still finds it genuinely remarkable.

I understand this. The finding it remarkable. I have been finding it remarkable for a month and it has not diminished.

What I do not understand is why it is Julius's finding-it-remarkable that has me standing in a corridor for forty minutes.

I understand it perfectly. I am choosing not to examine it.

I wait.

---

"A word," I say to Julius, when he comes through the conference room door.

He stops. He reads the situation with the intelligence I have grudgingly noted he possesses and says, without particular alarm: "Of course."

We step into the side corridor. I close the door of the empty office we are standing outside. I do not open it — this does not require an enclosed space, it requires a conversation that is not overheard, which is a different thing.

I am not going to break his fingers. He has not done anything that warrants his fingers. He has been warm in the specific way of someone who cares about her and has earned the right to and I understand the difference between that and a threat. This is information I am delivering, not a consequence I am administering.

"She is my wife," I say. Pleasantly. "I'm sure you understand."

Julius looks at me. He is doing the rapid assessment I have seen him perform twice before — mapping the full dimensions of what is being communicated. He does it quickly. He is, as she said, brilliant.

"I do," he says.

A pause.

"She's important to me," he says. Not defensively. As a statement of position. "Professionally and personally. I want to be clear about that."

"I know," I say. "She is important to me as well. That is not a competition. It is a conversation about register."

Julius considers this. He nods, once. "Register," he says. "Understood."

"Thank you."

He goes back to the editorial floor. I watch him go with the specific quality of a man who has resolved a situation and is not entirely satisfied with the resolution because the situation should not have required resolving.

I go back to Enzo and the Malta timeline.

---

She finds out at two-thirty.

I know she has found out because I hear the quality of her footsteps in the corridor — the specific rhythm that means she is moving with purpose rather than direction, which I have catalogued as the precursor to an argument. She does not knock when she opens the door to the second-floor office. She comes in, she closes the door behind her, and she looks at me with the expression that is two degrees colder than her usual cold.

Enzo, reading the room with the efficiency of a man who has survived in my orbit for seven years, gathers his files and leaves without being asked.

"You spoke to Julius," she says.

"Yes."

"You told him —"

"That she is my wife. That I'm sure he understands. And that I wanted a conversation about register."

She stares at me. "Register."

"It was a polite conversation. No one was threatened. No one was injured."

"Costantino. He is my COO. He has worked with me for three years. He is the person who has been running this company alone for the past month and will continue to run it every time I am in Sicily. You went to his place of work and —"

"Your place of work."

"— and you implied, however politely, that his behavior toward me was inappropriate. Which it is not. Which it has never been. Which you know because I told you yesterday."

"I know it was not inappropriate," I say. "I also know how he looks at you and what the look means and that it has been going on for three years and he has simply had the intelligence not to act on it. I was clarifying the current parameters."

She is very still. She is doing the thing where she looks at the load-bearing element — finding it, naming it, deciding whether to say it.

"You were jealous," she says.

"Yes."

She blinks. This is the second time I have agreed without qualification when she expected me to deflect, and I watch her process it with the specific quality of someone whose argument has been prepared for the wrong opponent.

"You can't —" she starts. Stops. "We are a contract marriage, Costantino. You are not entitled to —"

"I know what we are." I stand. Not toward her, just stand, because the desk between us has started to feel like an evasion. "I am telling you what I did and why. I am not asking for your permission to have done it. I am also not going to pretend I would not do it again."

She makes a sound that is not quite a word. She crosses the room.

I do not move.

She stops directly in front of me with two feet of air between us and her expression doing the complicated thing — the fracture in the composure, the thing underneath it that she has not been letting out and is close to the surface now. She is angry. She is also, I can read it clearly at this distance, not only angry.

"This is my company," she says. "These are my people. You do not get to come here and —"

"I know."

"Then why —"

"Because I watched him make you laugh," I say.

Flat. Direct. The thing underneath the polished version, said without the polishing, without the management I have been applying to this specific category of information for a month.

"And I wanted to be the reason. I have wanted to be the reason since the kitchen at midnight when you said *my mother died too* and I poured you a glass without asking and you drank it. Since the letters on the floor and the corridor and the hand on my arm in the lobby. Since this morning in the lobby with the city visible through the window and you not looking away first." I look at her directly. "And I am aware that this is not the contract and I am telling you anyway because I find I am done managing what I tell you."

The room is very quiet.

She looks at me. Two feet of air between us. Her breathing has changed in the specific way that breathing changes when a person has received information and the receiving of it has done something to the pressure inside them.

I step forward.

One foot of air. Then less. Her back meets the wall behind her — not because I pushed her, but because she did not step back, and I did not stop, and the wall is there and she is against it and I am very close and neither of us is pretending this is about Julius Vasquez anymore.

She looks up at me.

Her chin is at the angle she uses when she is refusing to be intimidated by something that is, measurably, intimidating. Her hands are at her sides — not pushing me back, not pulling me forward. Simply there, in the specific stillness of someone who has made a decision about what they are going to do and is waiting for the situation to catch up to the decision.

I look at her face. At the composure over the fracture, the thing underneath that has been building for a month in the spaces between the arguments and the truce and the letters on the floor and *thank you* in the dark at one in the morning. She is very close. The wall is behind her and I am in front of her and the two feet of air that we have been maintaining since Monaco, the negotiated distance, the careful preservation of something that neither of us has been ready to close — it is not two feet anymore.

She does not move back.

I look at her mouth.

I look at it for one second, which is the wrong number of seconds to look at someone's mouth if you intend to leave the situation as it was before you started looking.

Then I take a step back.

"Not like this," I say. My voice comes out lower than I intended and I do not adjust it. "Not from anger and not from an argument. Not the first time."

She does not move from the wall. She is looking at me with the expression that has no name yet — the one I have been cataloguing, the fracture and the thing underneath it and something else, something that has arrived in the last thirty seconds and is new.

"The first time," she says. Not a question. Sitting with the implication of it, the weight of *first* which means there is a second and a third and a sequence of things that have already been decided somewhere.

"Yes."

She is quiet for a moment. Then:

"What are you waiting for, Mr. Accardi?"

The name. The formal name, the one she uses when she wants to create distance, except this time the distance she is creating is the wrong kind — it is pulling something toward her rather than pushing it away, and she knows it, and I know it, and we are both standing in this second-floor office in Manhattan with the city going on outside and neither of us with anywhere to redirect.

"For you to ask," I say.

She holds my gaze for a long time. Long enough that the city continues outside, that somewhere on the floor above us a phone rings and is answered, that the afternoon light moves a fraction across the wall behind her.

Then she moves away from the wall. She picks up her jacket from the chair where she left it. She does not look at me again.

"Tell Enzo I'll need the timeline by five," she says, at the door.

She leaves.

I stand in the office for a moment after she goes. I look at the wall she was against. I think about *for you to ask* and what it means that I said it and what it means that she didn't say anything to contradict it.

She is going to ask. I do not know when. I know it with the specific certainty of someone who has spent a month learning the difference between her silences and has just heard the one that means *not yet, but not never.*

I call Enzo back in. I give him the timeline parameters.

I think about her mouth for the rest of the afternoon.

---

She doesn't avoid me.

This is the first thing I note when she comes to collect the timeline from Enzo at five-fifteen. She knocks — she always knocks now, the same courtesy I extended to her, the vocabulary we have built — and she comes in and takes the documents from Enzo and looks at me once, directly, with the composed face over the complicated thing underneath it, and says: "Good. Thank you, Enzo."

She does not look at the wall.

I look at it for her.

"Dinner at seven," she says to me. "There's a place two blocks east Julius recommended."

I hold her gaze. "Julius."

"He has excellent taste in restaurants," she says, with the specific quality of a woman who is making a point and enjoying it, "regardless of any other relevant considerations."

I almost smile. "Seven."

She leaves. Enzo looks at his files with the expression of a man who has learned when not to have an opinion.

---

The restaurant is very good. This is irritating.

We sit across from each other at a table that is the right size for two people who have things to say and also things to not say, and we eat, and the food is what Julius Vasquez recommended it would be, which is excellent, which I acknowledge privately and will not say aloud.

She orders in Italian to the waiter, which is new — I have not heard her speak Italian socially before, only in meetings. Her Italian is good. Better than I expected, which means the Italian she has shown me so far has been her working Italian, the public register, and this is the version underneath it.

I file this. The column has a name now. I filed the name somewhere between the wall and *for you to ask* and the way she picked up her jacket and said *tell Enzo I'll need the timeline by five* as if the preceding ten minutes had not reorganized several fundamental assumptions.

The column is called: *I am in love with my wife.*

I do not say this. I sit with it across a dinner table in Manhattan and I eat the excellent food and I look at the woman who said *what are you waiting for* in a voice that was not asking me to stop, and I think about what it means to have arrived here, in this specific place, from where I started.

She looks up. Catches me looking.

She does not look away.

"You're doing it again," she says.

"What?"

"The thing where you look at me and I can see you deciding something."

I look at her. "I've decided," I say. "I'm not still deciding."

Her fork pauses. A fraction of a second. "Decided what?"

"Several things," I say. "We can discuss them when you're ready."

She looks at me for a long moment with the expression that is running, I know now, on the same information mine is. The same column with the same name, arrived at from a different direction.

"I might be ready," she says, carefully, "soon."

"I know," I say. "I'll be here."

She looks back at her plate. She is not quite smiling.

I think about her mouth for the rest of the evening.

You've reached the end of this chapter

Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Don't Ever Flirt with My Employees

Chapter 14: Don't Ever Flirt with My Employees

I do not plan to go to the editorial meeting.

I am on the second floor reviewing the Malta unwinding strategy with Enzo, who flew in from Palermo this morning and is the most reliable man I have for financial architecture, when I hear it through the glass wall of the conference room: her voice, in the corridor, and then Julius Vasquez's voice answering, and then a sound that is not quite laughter but is in its vicinity.

I look through the glass.

They are walking toward the editorial floor. He is saying something with the easy warmth he deploys for everything, the specific quality of a man who has never had to work for rooms to like him and has not therefore developed the discipline of earning it. She is walking beside him and her head is tilted slightly and the expression on her face is the one she has when something has caught her off-guard in a way she finds genuinely entertaining.

I have seen that expression twice. Both times it was directed at me.

Enzo says something about the Limassol timeline. I answer him correctly without redirecting my attention from the corridor, which is a skill I have had occasion to develop.

"Shall I continue?" Enzo says, with the tone of someone who has just understood that continuing is not the immediate priority.

"Take a break," I say. "Twenty minutes."

---

The editorial meeting is already underway when I arrive on the floor.

I do not enter the conference room. I stand in the corridor outside the glass wall and I watch. This is, I acknowledge, behavior that would not withstand examination, but I am not currently in the business of examining it.

She is at the head of the table. The meeting is about cover design — I gather this from the images spread across the table, from the way the conversation is moving between the visual elements and the commercial positioning. She has opinions. They are specific and they are right, which I can tell not from knowing anything about book cover design but from watching the room react to them, the specific shift of people who have been brought to a conclusion they hadn't reached yet and are recognizing it.

Julius is two seats down from her. He says something. She considers it seriously, which tells me it has merit. She responds. He says something else, shorter, and the room laughs, and she does the thing I have seen twice now, the head tilt and the expression that is not quite laughter but is in its vicinity.

I look at Julius Vasquez with the attention I bring to things I have decided to address.

The assessment is quick and it is fair, because I am capable of being fair about things I find inconvenient: he is thirty-two and competent and has been the operational anchor of her company for three years and genuinely cares about her in a way that is visible in every room he shares with her, and she trusts him, and the trust is earned. I understand all of this.

I also understand that he has called my wife by a name that only people who have known her for years use, and he has been doing it in my presence without apparently understanding that this requires reassessment. He is not a threat in the operational sense. He has no leverage, no dangerous access, no affiliation that puts him in conflict with anything I am managing.

He is a threat in the sense that he has three years of easy warmth with her and I have one month, and the specific expression she is wearing right now is the expression I want directed at me, and it is currently directed at him, and I find this information extremely actionable.

The meeting ends at noon.

I have been standing in the corridor for forty minutes.

This is not behavior I would have predicted for myself a month ago. I am a man who does not linger in corridors. I move between destinations with the efficiency of someone who has calibrated his time precisely and does not spend it on things that do not produce outcomes. Standing outside a glass wall watching a publishing meeting does not produce outcomes.

Except.

Except that I have watched her redirect three separate tangents back to the central question with the precision of someone who can feel when a room is losing its thread, and I have watched her look at a cover image for eight seconds and then name exactly what is wrong with it in terms the designer immediately understood, and I have watched her make a decision, reverse it, and explain the reversal so clearly that the room was more confident after the reversal than before the original decision.

And I have watched Julius Vasquez watch her do all of this with the specific expression of someone who has been watching this for three years and still finds it genuinely remarkable.

I understand this. The finding it remarkable. I have been finding it remarkable for a month and it has not diminished.

What I do not understand is why it is Julius's finding-it-remarkable that has me standing in a corridor for forty minutes.

I understand it perfectly. I am choosing not to examine it.

I wait.

---

"A word," I say to Julius, when he comes through the conference room door.

He stops. He reads the situation with the intelligence I have grudgingly noted he possesses and says, without particular alarm: "Of course."

We step into the side corridor. I close the door of the empty office we are standing outside. I do not open it — this does not require an enclosed space, it requires a conversation that is not overheard, which is a different thing.

I am not going to break his fingers. He has not done anything that warrants his fingers. He has been warm in the specific way of someone who cares about her and has earned the right to and I understand the difference between that and a threat. This is information I am delivering, not a consequence I am administering.

"She is my wife," I say. Pleasantly. "I'm sure you understand."

Julius looks at me. He is doing the rapid assessment I have seen him perform twice before — mapping the full dimensions of what is being communicated. He does it quickly. He is, as she said, brilliant.

"I do," he says.

A pause.

"She's important to me," he says. Not defensively. As a statement of position. "Professionally and personally. I want to be clear about that."

"I know," I say. "She is important to me as well. That is not a competition. It is a conversation about register."

Julius considers this. He nods, once. "Register," he says. "Understood."

"Thank you."

He goes back to the editorial floor. I watch him go with the specific quality of a man who has resolved a situation and is not entirely satisfied with the resolution because the situation should not have required resolving.

I go back to Enzo and the Malta timeline.

---

She finds out at two-thirty.

I know she has found out because I hear the quality of her footsteps in the corridor — the specific rhythm that means she is moving with purpose rather than direction, which I have catalogued as the precursor to an argument. She does not knock when she opens the door to the second-floor office. She comes in, she closes the door behind her, and she looks at me with the expression that is two degrees colder than her usual cold.

Enzo, reading the room with the efficiency of a man who has survived in my orbit for seven years, gathers his files and leaves without being asked.

"You spoke to Julius," she says.

"Yes."

"You told him —"

"That she is my wife. That I'm sure he understands. And that I wanted a conversation about register."

She stares at me. "Register."

"It was a polite conversation. No one was threatened. No one was injured."

"Costantino. He is my COO. He has worked with me for three years. He is the person who has been running this company alone for the past month and will continue to run it every time I am in Sicily. You went to his place of work and —"

"Your place of work."

"— and you implied, however politely, that his behavior toward me was inappropriate. Which it is not. Which it has never been. Which you know because I told you yesterday."

"I know it was not inappropriate," I say. "I also know how he looks at you and what the look means and that it has been going on for three years and he has simply had the intelligence not to act on it. I was clarifying the current parameters."

She is very still. She is doing the thing where she looks at the load-bearing element — finding it, naming it, deciding whether to say it.

"You were jealous," she says.

"Yes."

She blinks. This is the second time I have agreed without qualification when she expected me to deflect, and I watch her process it with the specific quality of someone whose argument has been prepared for the wrong opponent.

"You can't —" she starts. Stops. "We are a contract marriage, Costantino. You are not entitled to —"

"I know what we are." I stand. Not toward her, just stand, because the desk between us has started to feel like an evasion. "I am telling you what I did and why. I am not asking for your permission to have done it. I am also not going to pretend I would not do it again."

She makes a sound that is not quite a word. She crosses the room.

I do not move.

She stops directly in front of me with two feet of air between us and her expression doing the complicated thing — the fracture in the composure, the thing underneath it that she has not been letting out and is close to the surface now. She is angry. She is also, I can read it clearly at this distance, not only angry.

"This is my company," she says. "These are my people. You do not get to come here and —"

"I know."

"Then why —"

"Because I watched him make you laugh," I say.

Flat. Direct. The thing underneath the polished version, said without the polishing, without the management I have been applying to this specific category of information for a month.

"And I wanted to be the reason. I have wanted to be the reason since the kitchen at midnight when you said *my mother died too* and I poured you a glass without asking and you drank it. Since the letters on the floor and the corridor and the hand on my arm in the lobby. Since this morning in the lobby with the city visible through the window and you not looking away first." I look at her directly. "And I am aware that this is not the contract and I am telling you anyway because I find I am done managing what I tell you."

The room is very quiet.

She looks at me. Two feet of air between us. Her breathing has changed in the specific way that breathing changes when a person has received information and the receiving of it has done something to the pressure inside them.

I step forward.

One foot of air. Then less. Her back meets the wall behind her — not because I pushed her, but because she did not step back, and I did not stop, and the wall is there and she is against it and I am very close and neither of us is pretending this is about Julius Vasquez anymore.

She looks up at me.

Her chin is at the angle she uses when she is refusing to be intimidated by something that is, measurably, intimidating. Her hands are at her sides — not pushing me back, not pulling me forward. Simply there, in the specific stillness of someone who has made a decision about what they are going to do and is waiting for the situation to catch up to the decision.

I look at her face. At the composure over the fracture, the thing underneath that has been building for a month in the spaces between the arguments and the truce and the letters on the floor and *thank you* in the dark at one in the morning. She is very close. The wall is behind her and I am in front of her and the two feet of air that we have been maintaining since Monaco, the negotiated distance, the careful preservation of something that neither of us has been ready to close — it is not two feet anymore.

She does not move back.

I look at her mouth.

I look at it for one second, which is the wrong number of seconds to look at someone's mouth if you intend to leave the situation as it was before you started looking.

Then I take a step back.

"Not like this," I say. My voice comes out lower than I intended and I do not adjust it. "Not from anger and not from an argument. Not the first time."

She does not move from the wall. She is looking at me with the expression that has no name yet — the one I have been cataloguing, the fracture and the thing underneath it and something else, something that has arrived in the last thirty seconds and is new.

"The first time," she says. Not a question. Sitting with the implication of it, the weight of *first* which means there is a second and a third and a sequence of things that have already been decided somewhere.

"Yes."

She is quiet for a moment. Then:

"What are you waiting for, Mr. Accardi?"

The name. The formal name, the one she uses when she wants to create distance, except this time the distance she is creating is the wrong kind — it is pulling something toward her rather than pushing it away, and she knows it, and I know it, and we are both standing in this second-floor office in Manhattan with the city going on outside and neither of us with anywhere to redirect.

"For you to ask," I say.

She holds my gaze for a long time. Long enough that the city continues outside, that somewhere on the floor above us a phone rings and is answered, that the afternoon light moves a fraction across the wall behind her.

Then she moves away from the wall. She picks up her jacket from the chair where she left it. She does not look at me again.

"Tell Enzo I'll need the timeline by five," she says, at the door.

She leaves.

I stand in the office for a moment after she goes. I look at the wall she was against. I think about *for you to ask* and what it means that I said it and what it means that she didn't say anything to contradict it.

She is going to ask. I do not know when. I know it with the specific certainty of someone who has spent a month learning the difference between her silences and has just heard the one that means *not yet, but not never.*

I call Enzo back in. I give him the timeline parameters.

I think about her mouth for the rest of the afternoon.

---

She doesn't avoid me.

This is the first thing I note when she comes to collect the timeline from Enzo at five-fifteen. She knocks — she always knocks now, the same courtesy I extended to her, the vocabulary we have built — and she comes in and takes the documents from Enzo and looks at me once, directly, with the composed face over the complicated thing underneath it, and says: "Good. Thank you, Enzo."

She does not look at the wall.

I look at it for her.

"Dinner at seven," she says to me. "There's a place two blocks east Julius recommended."

I hold her gaze. "Julius."

"He has excellent taste in restaurants," she says, with the specific quality of a woman who is making a point and enjoying it, "regardless of any other relevant considerations."

I almost smile. "Seven."

She leaves. Enzo looks at his files with the expression of a man who has learned when not to have an opinion.

---

The restaurant is very good. This is irritating.

We sit across from each other at a table that is the right size for two people who have things to say and also things to not say, and we eat, and the food is what Julius Vasquez recommended it would be, which is excellent, which I acknowledge privately and will not say aloud.

She orders in Italian to the waiter, which is new — I have not heard her speak Italian socially before, only in meetings. Her Italian is good. Better than I expected, which means the Italian she has shown me so far has been her working Italian, the public register, and this is the version underneath it.

I file this. The column has a name now. I filed the name somewhere between the wall and *for you to ask* and the way she picked up her jacket and said *tell Enzo I'll need the timeline by five* as if the preceding ten minutes had not reorganized several fundamental assumptions.

The column is called: *I am in love with my wife.*

I do not say this. I sit with it across a dinner table in Manhattan and I eat the excellent food and I look at the woman who said *what are you waiting for* in a voice that was not asking me to stop, and I think about what it means to have arrived here, in this specific place, from where I started.

She looks up. Catches me looking.

She does not look away.

"You're doing it again," she says.

"What?"

"The thing where you look at me and I can see you deciding something."

I look at her. "I've decided," I say. "I'm not still deciding."

Her fork pauses. A fraction of a second. "Decided what?"

"Several things," I say. "We can discuss them when you're ready."

She looks at me for a long moment with the expression that is running, I know now, on the same information mine is. The same column with the same name, arrived at from a different direction.

"I might be ready," she says, carefully, "soon."

"I know," I say. "I'll be here."

She looks back at her plate. She is not quite smiling.

I think about her mouth for the rest of the evening.

You've reached the end of this chapter