Chapter 08

Chapter 8: Truce

Chapter 8: Truce

I write Damian four different emails.

The first is factual: the compound, the housekeeper, the east wing, the scarf. What happened in the corridor. What was on his face. I write it with the same tone I use for quarterly reports — precise, sequential, stripped of interpretation. When I finish I read it back and delete it because it reads like a damage assessment and I do not want Damian on the first flight to Palermo.

The second is honest: *I made a mistake. I went somewhere I was told not to go and I took something I should not have taken and I did it anyway because a woman I have never met told me not to and I am apparently incapable of accepting restrictions from people who have not earned the right to give them. He looked at me like I had opened something that was going to take a long time to close.* I delete this one too because it is true and therefore more alarming than the first.

The third is short: *Day two. Still alive. Call me when you land.*

This is the one I almost send.

I close the laptop instead.

The room has gone from afternoon to evening while I have been sitting at the desk by the window — the light through the gauze curtains shifting from gold to amber to the particular blue-grey that belongs to the hour before dark on the Sicilian coast. The sea is still audible. It will, I am beginning to understand, always be audible from this room, which is either going to become a comfort or a form of slow torment depending on how the rest of this goes.

Costa has not knocked.

I am aware of this the way I have become aware of most things in this house: peripherally, continuously, without meaning to. The office door was still closed when I passed it an hour ago. The corridor has been quiet. Signora Caruso's kitchen sounds have faded, which means dinner has been left somewhere and she has retired for the evening.

I am not hungry. I stay at the desk and watch the light go and do not write the fourth email, which would have said: *I put the scarf back. I don't know if it matters. I think it might.*

---

---

I have been in my office for six hours when I run out of things that require my attention.

This has not happened in some time. I am a man with a high capacity for work — Lorenzo says this as a compliment and as a concern depending on the context — and I have learned over the years to structure my days so that the requirement for sustained focus leaves little room for the other kind of thinking. The kind that happens in the margins. The kind that does not produce anything except more of itself.

Tonight the margins are very wide.

I closed the office door after the scarf. I sat at my desk and I worked and I did not think about the corridor, the white that I felt go through my face, the two seconds before I had control of it again. I did not think about her standing there with Sofia's scarf around her shoulders in the afternoon light, looking at me with those dark eyes that give nothing away, refusing to flinch.

I thought about all of this while not thinking about it, which is its own form of occupation.

She put it back. I know because I went to the east wing at five in the evening, when I heard her moving through the main corridor and the sound told me she was going elsewhere. I went to Sofia's room and the scarf was on the arm of the chaise, folded exactly as it had been. Not dropped. Not left. Folded. Returned with the specific care of someone who understood the weight of what they had taken.

I stood there for a while. I looked at the scarf and the chaise and the portrait and the amber light through the closed shutters, and I felt something that I was not expecting to feel on the second day of a marriage I did not want, which was the beginning of something not unlike relief.

I have been trying to identify it for the past five hours.

At midnight I run out of things that require my attention and I go to find something to drink, because drinking is a productive use of a sleepless evening and because the kitchen is a room that does not contain Sofia's portrait or my wife's half-written emails or the particular charged quality of the corridor where she said *make me* and meant it.

Midnight finds me in the kitchen.

Not because I am hungry, though I have not eaten since the coffee this morning and my body has begun to register this with the specific insistence of something that will not be ignored indefinitely. Because the room has become too still and the sea has become too constant and sitting with my own thoughts has reached the point of diminishing returns.

The kitchen at midnight is the kitchen I noticed this morning — the new appliances, the old bones, the window above the sink that faces the lemon grove. The under-cabinet lights are on, which means someone turned them on before retiring or they are always on, and in their low warm light the room has a quality that is almost comfortable. Almost like a kitchen in a house where someone lives rather than operates.

I am looking in the refrigerator, which has been stocked with the thoroughness of a house that expects to feed people, when I hear him.

Footsteps. The specific weight and rhythm of them. I know this already, in the way I have been coming to know things about him against my will — involuntarily, through proximity.

I do not close the refrigerator. I stay where I am.

He stops in the doorway.

A pause. Long enough for both of us to register that neither of us expected the other, that this is genuinely accidental, that the kitchen at midnight is apparently the place both of us go when our respective rooms become untenable.

He is in a dark shirt, untucked, sleeves pushed up. Glass of wine already in hand. The controlled presentation of the daytime hours has shifted — not disappeared, but loosened, the way things loosen after midnight when the performance stops being worth the effort.

He looks at me. I look at him.

"You didn't eat," he says.

"Neither did you."

A pause. He moves to the counter — not toward me, parallel, the courteous distance of two people managing shared space after a difficult afternoon. He opens a cabinet, takes out another glass, sets it on the counter between us without asking.

I close the refrigerator. I sit on the stool at the kitchen island. He pours.

We don't speak for a moment. The wine is very good — I note this before I note anything else, because it is the easiest thing to note. Outside, the lemon grove is doing something fragrant and indifferent in the dark.

"Her name was Sofia," he says.

I go still.

He is looking at the wine glass, not at me. His voice has the quality of someone saying a thing they have decided to say before they can decide not to. "Sofia Accardi. She grew up in Messina. Her grandmother was the one from Thessaloniki." A pause. "She died when I was fourteen. Officially it was cardiac. She was forty-one."

I listen.

I do not ask questions. There is a specific kind of thing that people say when they have decided to say it, and questions interrupt the architecture of it. You learn this if you spend enough time around people who carry things they rarely put down — you learn to be quiet in a particular way, a way that leaves space.

"She loved the east wing," he says. "She used to sit in that room and read. She said it was the only room in the house where you could hear the sea and the garden at the same time." A pause. "I don't go there often. But I don't — I haven't been able to close it properly. Every time I try it seems like I'm —"

He stops. He takes a drink of wine.

"Finishing something," I say.

He looks at me.

"Yes," he says. Quietly. "Like that."

The kitchen is very still. The lemon grove outside. The low lights. The wine and the two glasses and the space between us that is smaller than it has been in any room we have shared.

I look at the wine in my glass. At the color of it in the low light — deep red, nearly black at the edges. I think about what I am going to say before I say it, not because I am uncertain but because once said it will be in the room and I want to be sure I mean it.

"My mother died when I was eleven," I say. "Her name was Irini. She loved books — actual books, not the idea of them. She used to read to me in Greek even after I was old enough to read myself, because she said the language sounded different out loud. Like it was meant to be heard." I pause. "She had a cardiac event too. Officially."

The word *officially* lands in the space between us with the weight of everything it contains.

He is very still.

I watch him process it — the specific recalibration of someone who suspected and is now being confirmed. He sets his glass down slowly. His hands are very steady. That tells me something about how he handles things that require steadiness.

"I know," he says. Low. "I know about your mother. Lorenzo told me, before the negotiation. About what Theron —" He stops. The stillness shifts. Becomes something heavier, directed inward. "I am sorry. That is insufficient and I know it is insufficient and I am saying it anyway."

I look at him. At the genuine quality of it — not the apologetic performance that people deploy when they want credit for sympathy, but the specific gravity of someone who means what they are saying and knows the inadequacy of saying it and says it regardless because the alternative is saying nothing, and saying nothing is a different kind of failure.

"I'm sorry about Sofia," I say.

He is quiet for a moment. Then: "How old were you? When you found out it wasn't cardiac."

"Fourteen. I found her letters."

Something moves across his face — recognition, the specific kind that surfaces when you hear your own story in someone else's words. "I was fifteen," he says. "I didn't find letters. I just — knew. I had been watching for three years by then. You learn to read a room. You learn to read a person." A pause. "You learn to read what the absence of a person leaves behind."

I think about the east wing. About shutters closed against the afternoon light and a scarf on the arm of a chair and a portrait of a woman who was painted mid-expression in a room she loved.

"You kept her room," I say.

"Yes."

"Because finishing it would mean accepting —"

"That it finished." He looks at the wine glass. "Yes."

We sit with this. With the two women we did not get to keep and the two houses that took them and the particular inheritance that kind of loss leaves — the way it reshapes you around the missing place, the way you build yourself into something capable of bearing the weight of knowing what you know, the way loving something is not enough to protect it and this is information you carry in your body every day.

We are, I think, built from similar blueprints.

This is either the most useful thing I have learned about him or the most dangerous.

He pours more wine. He does not ask if I want it; he simply pours, topping my glass with the ease of someone who has decided that this particular courtesy has been cleared for deployment. I let him.

"The scarf," he says eventually. Not accusatory. Just the word, set between us like something he is deciding how to address.

"I put it back," I say. "Exactly where it was."

A pause. Something moves in his expression — I catch it in the periphery, don't turn to look at it directly because looking directly at things that are still deciding whether to exist sometimes makes them disappear.

"I know," he says.

Of course he does.

"I shouldn't have taken it," I say. "I knew when I took it that I shouldn't have. I did it anyway."

"Yes." No anger in it now. Just acknowledgment. "I want to know why."

I consider this. The honest answer is complicated — Signora Caruso, and the look on her face, and twenty-five years of refusing to become smaller for people who have decided their verdict before examining the evidence. But underneath that, something else. Something that recognized the room and the portrait and the quality of grief that lives in a space where someone has been loved and lost, and wanted to be close to it.

"Because the room felt like something I understood," I say. "And I wanted to be in it. I think I wanted her to know I understood."

He is quiet for a long time.

Outside, a nightingale has started in the lemon grove. The same relentless cheerful one, or another one, or all of them indistinguishable from each other in the dark.

"She would have liked you," he says. Low, like something that got out before he decided whether to let it.

I don't answer. I don't think it requires an answer.

We sit in the kitchen for another hour.

We don't talk much. He finds the bread and the cheese and sets them between us on the counter with the same quality he has for most things — without ceremony, without making it a gesture, as if this is simply the obvious next action and requiring acknowledgment would be an unnecessary complication. We eat. The bread is very good. The cheese is the kind that comes from somewhere specific and has the flavor of that specificity.

I think about the email I didn't send. About what the fourth one would have said.

He is not what I prepared for. He is not what the file said and he is not what two months of dread built him into and he is not, I am beginning to understand, the simple architecture of a dangerous man. He is something more complicated, which is more difficult to manage and also, I acknowledge privately, more interesting.

He is a man who pours wine without asking once the need has been established. Who keeps a dead woman's room with the shutters closed and the scarf on the chair because closing it completely would mean something he is not ready for it to mean. Who slept on the floor last night so I could have the bed and did not mention it this morning and will not, I suspect, mention it ever.

He said *she would have liked you* and then looked briefly like a man who had not intended to say it and had decided not to take it back.

I store this in the file I am building, in the column I have not yet labeled.

We eat in the comfortable quiet of people who have said the necessary things and don't need to fill the space afterward.

At one in the morning he stands. He looks at me across the kitchen island.

"Truce?" he says.

I look at him. At the loosened version of him that exists at midnight, at the man who said *she would have liked you* like something that escaped, at the glass he poured without asking because at some point in the last hour it became unnecessary to ask.

"For tonight," I say.

He nods. He turns off the under-cabinet light — one switch, the room going to the ambient dark of windows and moonlight — and walks to the door. He pauses there.

"I'll knock," he says. "Before I come in. From now on."

I look at him in the doorway. At the offer, which is small and enormous and costs him nothing architecturally and everything else.

"Thank you," I say.

He leaves. I sit in the kitchen for another few minutes, in the dark with the nightingale and the lemon grove and the particular quiet of a house that has held a long day and is finally setting it down.

Two people with dead mothers and open wounds and a war to fight and one year to figure out whether any of this can be anything other than what it was contracted to be.

I think about what he said: *I'll knock. Before I come in. From now on.*

It is such a small thing. It is the smallest possible offering — a courtesy so basic that in any ordinary arrangement it would not be notable. In this one it is a statement. It says: I understand what you need and I am choosing to give it without requiring you to explain why you need it. It says: I was watching closely enough to know.

He has been watching closely from the beginning. The photographs in the file, which I am no longer thinking about with the same cold fury I felt when I first found them. The Greek vows. The black dress. The ten minutes instead of five. The floor instead of the bed. The glass of wine poured without asking because at some point in the last hour it became unnecessary to ask.

He is building a file on me with the same methodology I am using on him and we have both known this since Monaco and neither of us has said it, which is its own kind of conversation.

I sit in the dark kitchen for a little while longer and I think about *she would have liked you*, which came out of him like something that had been sitting in a pressurized container and found a small exit, and I think about whether it is true, and I think that it might be, and I think that this matters to me in a way that is going to require careful management.

The nightingale is still going in the lemon grove.

I turn off the last light. I go back down the corridor to our room. He has already knocked — the door is the way I left it, which means he went in and I can hear, from outside, the specific silence of a room occupied by someone who has chosen their side of the bed and is pretending to sleep.

I open the door. I go in. I get into bed.

On the floor: nothing. He is in the bed this time, on his side, turned away.

The truce, apparently, comes with a bed.

I lie in the dark and listen to him not sleep and I think: for tonight, truce.

Tomorrow I will figure out the rest.

You've reached the end of this chapter

Chapter 08

Chapter 8: Truce

Chapter 8: Truce

I write Damian four different emails.

The first is factual: the compound, the housekeeper, the east wing, the scarf. What happened in the corridor. What was on his face. I write it with the same tone I use for quarterly reports — precise, sequential, stripped of interpretation. When I finish I read it back and delete it because it reads like a damage assessment and I do not want Damian on the first flight to Palermo.

The second is honest: *I made a mistake. I went somewhere I was told not to go and I took something I should not have taken and I did it anyway because a woman I have never met told me not to and I am apparently incapable of accepting restrictions from people who have not earned the right to give them. He looked at me like I had opened something that was going to take a long time to close.* I delete this one too because it is true and therefore more alarming than the first.

The third is short: *Day two. Still alive. Call me when you land.*

This is the one I almost send.

I close the laptop instead.

The room has gone from afternoon to evening while I have been sitting at the desk by the window — the light through the gauze curtains shifting from gold to amber to the particular blue-grey that belongs to the hour before dark on the Sicilian coast. The sea is still audible. It will, I am beginning to understand, always be audible from this room, which is either going to become a comfort or a form of slow torment depending on how the rest of this goes.

Costa has not knocked.

I am aware of this the way I have become aware of most things in this house: peripherally, continuously, without meaning to. The office door was still closed when I passed it an hour ago. The corridor has been quiet. Signora Caruso's kitchen sounds have faded, which means dinner has been left somewhere and she has retired for the evening.

I am not hungry. I stay at the desk and watch the light go and do not write the fourth email, which would have said: *I put the scarf back. I don't know if it matters. I think it might.*

---

---

I have been in my office for six hours when I run out of things that require my attention.

This has not happened in some time. I am a man with a high capacity for work — Lorenzo says this as a compliment and as a concern depending on the context — and I have learned over the years to structure my days so that the requirement for sustained focus leaves little room for the other kind of thinking. The kind that happens in the margins. The kind that does not produce anything except more of itself.

Tonight the margins are very wide.

I closed the office door after the scarf. I sat at my desk and I worked and I did not think about the corridor, the white that I felt go through my face, the two seconds before I had control of it again. I did not think about her standing there with Sofia's scarf around her shoulders in the afternoon light, looking at me with those dark eyes that give nothing away, refusing to flinch.

I thought about all of this while not thinking about it, which is its own form of occupation.

She put it back. I know because I went to the east wing at five in the evening, when I heard her moving through the main corridor and the sound told me she was going elsewhere. I went to Sofia's room and the scarf was on the arm of the chaise, folded exactly as it had been. Not dropped. Not left. Folded. Returned with the specific care of someone who understood the weight of what they had taken.

I stood there for a while. I looked at the scarf and the chaise and the portrait and the amber light through the closed shutters, and I felt something that I was not expecting to feel on the second day of a marriage I did not want, which was the beginning of something not unlike relief.

I have been trying to identify it for the past five hours.

At midnight I run out of things that require my attention and I go to find something to drink, because drinking is a productive use of a sleepless evening and because the kitchen is a room that does not contain Sofia's portrait or my wife's half-written emails or the particular charged quality of the corridor where she said *make me* and meant it.

Midnight finds me in the kitchen.

Not because I am hungry, though I have not eaten since the coffee this morning and my body has begun to register this with the specific insistence of something that will not be ignored indefinitely. Because the room has become too still and the sea has become too constant and sitting with my own thoughts has reached the point of diminishing returns.

The kitchen at midnight is the kitchen I noticed this morning — the new appliances, the old bones, the window above the sink that faces the lemon grove. The under-cabinet lights are on, which means someone turned them on before retiring or they are always on, and in their low warm light the room has a quality that is almost comfortable. Almost like a kitchen in a house where someone lives rather than operates.

I am looking in the refrigerator, which has been stocked with the thoroughness of a house that expects to feed people, when I hear him.

Footsteps. The specific weight and rhythm of them. I know this already, in the way I have been coming to know things about him against my will — involuntarily, through proximity.

I do not close the refrigerator. I stay where I am.

He stops in the doorway.

A pause. Long enough for both of us to register that neither of us expected the other, that this is genuinely accidental, that the kitchen at midnight is apparently the place both of us go when our respective rooms become untenable.

He is in a dark shirt, untucked, sleeves pushed up. Glass of wine already in hand. The controlled presentation of the daytime hours has shifted — not disappeared, but loosened, the way things loosen after midnight when the performance stops being worth the effort.

He looks at me. I look at him.

"You didn't eat," he says.

"Neither did you."

A pause. He moves to the counter — not toward me, parallel, the courteous distance of two people managing shared space after a difficult afternoon. He opens a cabinet, takes out another glass, sets it on the counter between us without asking.

I close the refrigerator. I sit on the stool at the kitchen island. He pours.

We don't speak for a moment. The wine is very good — I note this before I note anything else, because it is the easiest thing to note. Outside, the lemon grove is doing something fragrant and indifferent in the dark.

"Her name was Sofia," he says.

I go still.

He is looking at the wine glass, not at me. His voice has the quality of someone saying a thing they have decided to say before they can decide not to. "Sofia Accardi. She grew up in Messina. Her grandmother was the one from Thessaloniki." A pause. "She died when I was fourteen. Officially it was cardiac. She was forty-one."

I listen.

I do not ask questions. There is a specific kind of thing that people say when they have decided to say it, and questions interrupt the architecture of it. You learn this if you spend enough time around people who carry things they rarely put down — you learn to be quiet in a particular way, a way that leaves space.

"She loved the east wing," he says. "She used to sit in that room and read. She said it was the only room in the house where you could hear the sea and the garden at the same time." A pause. "I don't go there often. But I don't — I haven't been able to close it properly. Every time I try it seems like I'm —"

He stops. He takes a drink of wine.

"Finishing something," I say.

He looks at me.

"Yes," he says. Quietly. "Like that."

The kitchen is very still. The lemon grove outside. The low lights. The wine and the two glasses and the space between us that is smaller than it has been in any room we have shared.

I look at the wine in my glass. At the color of it in the low light — deep red, nearly black at the edges. I think about what I am going to say before I say it, not because I am uncertain but because once said it will be in the room and I want to be sure I mean it.

"My mother died when I was eleven," I say. "Her name was Irini. She loved books — actual books, not the idea of them. She used to read to me in Greek even after I was old enough to read myself, because she said the language sounded different out loud. Like it was meant to be heard." I pause. "She had a cardiac event too. Officially."

The word *officially* lands in the space between us with the weight of everything it contains.

He is very still.

I watch him process it — the specific recalibration of someone who suspected and is now being confirmed. He sets his glass down slowly. His hands are very steady. That tells me something about how he handles things that require steadiness.

"I know," he says. Low. "I know about your mother. Lorenzo told me, before the negotiation. About what Theron —" He stops. The stillness shifts. Becomes something heavier, directed inward. "I am sorry. That is insufficient and I know it is insufficient and I am saying it anyway."

I look at him. At the genuine quality of it — not the apologetic performance that people deploy when they want credit for sympathy, but the specific gravity of someone who means what they are saying and knows the inadequacy of saying it and says it regardless because the alternative is saying nothing, and saying nothing is a different kind of failure.

"I'm sorry about Sofia," I say.

He is quiet for a moment. Then: "How old were you? When you found out it wasn't cardiac."

"Fourteen. I found her letters."

Something moves across his face — recognition, the specific kind that surfaces when you hear your own story in someone else's words. "I was fifteen," he says. "I didn't find letters. I just — knew. I had been watching for three years by then. You learn to read a room. You learn to read a person." A pause. "You learn to read what the absence of a person leaves behind."

I think about the east wing. About shutters closed against the afternoon light and a scarf on the arm of a chair and a portrait of a woman who was painted mid-expression in a room she loved.

"You kept her room," I say.

"Yes."

"Because finishing it would mean accepting —"

"That it finished." He looks at the wine glass. "Yes."

We sit with this. With the two women we did not get to keep and the two houses that took them and the particular inheritance that kind of loss leaves — the way it reshapes you around the missing place, the way you build yourself into something capable of bearing the weight of knowing what you know, the way loving something is not enough to protect it and this is information you carry in your body every day.

We are, I think, built from similar blueprints.

This is either the most useful thing I have learned about him or the most dangerous.

He pours more wine. He does not ask if I want it; he simply pours, topping my glass with the ease of someone who has decided that this particular courtesy has been cleared for deployment. I let him.

"The scarf," he says eventually. Not accusatory. Just the word, set between us like something he is deciding how to address.

"I put it back," I say. "Exactly where it was."

A pause. Something moves in his expression — I catch it in the periphery, don't turn to look at it directly because looking directly at things that are still deciding whether to exist sometimes makes them disappear.

"I know," he says.

Of course he does.

"I shouldn't have taken it," I say. "I knew when I took it that I shouldn't have. I did it anyway."

"Yes." No anger in it now. Just acknowledgment. "I want to know why."

I consider this. The honest answer is complicated — Signora Caruso, and the look on her face, and twenty-five years of refusing to become smaller for people who have decided their verdict before examining the evidence. But underneath that, something else. Something that recognized the room and the portrait and the quality of grief that lives in a space where someone has been loved and lost, and wanted to be close to it.

"Because the room felt like something I understood," I say. "And I wanted to be in it. I think I wanted her to know I understood."

He is quiet for a long time.

Outside, a nightingale has started in the lemon grove. The same relentless cheerful one, or another one, or all of them indistinguishable from each other in the dark.

"She would have liked you," he says. Low, like something that got out before he decided whether to let it.

I don't answer. I don't think it requires an answer.

We sit in the kitchen for another hour.

We don't talk much. He finds the bread and the cheese and sets them between us on the counter with the same quality he has for most things — without ceremony, without making it a gesture, as if this is simply the obvious next action and requiring acknowledgment would be an unnecessary complication. We eat. The bread is very good. The cheese is the kind that comes from somewhere specific and has the flavor of that specificity.

I think about the email I didn't send. About what the fourth one would have said.

He is not what I prepared for. He is not what the file said and he is not what two months of dread built him into and he is not, I am beginning to understand, the simple architecture of a dangerous man. He is something more complicated, which is more difficult to manage and also, I acknowledge privately, more interesting.

He is a man who pours wine without asking once the need has been established. Who keeps a dead woman's room with the shutters closed and the scarf on the chair because closing it completely would mean something he is not ready for it to mean. Who slept on the floor last night so I could have the bed and did not mention it this morning and will not, I suspect, mention it ever.

He said *she would have liked you* and then looked briefly like a man who had not intended to say it and had decided not to take it back.

I store this in the file I am building, in the column I have not yet labeled.

We eat in the comfortable quiet of people who have said the necessary things and don't need to fill the space afterward.

At one in the morning he stands. He looks at me across the kitchen island.

"Truce?" he says.

I look at him. At the loosened version of him that exists at midnight, at the man who said *she would have liked you* like something that escaped, at the glass he poured without asking because at some point in the last hour it became unnecessary to ask.

"For tonight," I say.

He nods. He turns off the under-cabinet light — one switch, the room going to the ambient dark of windows and moonlight — and walks to the door. He pauses there.

"I'll knock," he says. "Before I come in. From now on."

I look at him in the doorway. At the offer, which is small and enormous and costs him nothing architecturally and everything else.

"Thank you," I say.

He leaves. I sit in the kitchen for another few minutes, in the dark with the nightingale and the lemon grove and the particular quiet of a house that has held a long day and is finally setting it down.

Two people with dead mothers and open wounds and a war to fight and one year to figure out whether any of this can be anything other than what it was contracted to be.

I think about what he said: *I'll knock. Before I come in. From now on.*

It is such a small thing. It is the smallest possible offering — a courtesy so basic that in any ordinary arrangement it would not be notable. In this one it is a statement. It says: I understand what you need and I am choosing to give it without requiring you to explain why you need it. It says: I was watching closely enough to know.

He has been watching closely from the beginning. The photographs in the file, which I am no longer thinking about with the same cold fury I felt when I first found them. The Greek vows. The black dress. The ten minutes instead of five. The floor instead of the bed. The glass of wine poured without asking because at some point in the last hour it became unnecessary to ask.

He is building a file on me with the same methodology I am using on him and we have both known this since Monaco and neither of us has said it, which is its own kind of conversation.

I sit in the dark kitchen for a little while longer and I think about *she would have liked you*, which came out of him like something that had been sitting in a pressurized container and found a small exit, and I think about whether it is true, and I think that it might be, and I think that this matters to me in a way that is going to require careful management.

The nightingale is still going in the lemon grove.

I turn off the last light. I go back down the corridor to our room. He has already knocked — the door is the way I left it, which means he went in and I can hear, from outside, the specific silence of a room occupied by someone who has chosen their side of the bed and is pretending to sleep.

I open the door. I go in. I get into bed.

On the floor: nothing. He is in the bed this time, on his side, turned away.

The truce, apparently, comes with a bed.

I lie in the dark and listen to him not sleep and I think: for tonight, truce.

Tomorrow I will figure out the rest.

You've reached the end of this chapter