Three days after the battle at the ridge, a courier arrived from the capital, and Vane knew before he broke the seal that it would ruin his morning.
He read it standing, boots still muddy from the training yard, while Eric — quiet, for once, the way he'd learned to go quiet when he sensed Vane needed to think without commentary — waited somewhere behind his ribs like a held breath.
*Marshal Blackthorne is to submit a full accounting of the incident at the eastern ridge, including the nature and origin of the weapon employed, no later than the first frost. The Chancellery reminds the Marshal that all magical artifacts discovered within Imperial territory are, by law, property of the Crown.*
"Property of the Crown," Vane repeated aloud, flat.
*"That's you they're talking about,"* Eric said. *"In case the phrasing wasn't clear."*
"The phrasing was very clear." Vane folded the letter once, twice, with more precision than the paper deserved, and set it on the corner of his desk where he could ignore it without losing track of it. "They've done this before. Any advantage that isn't theirs by design, they claim by decree. It saves them the trouble of earning it."
He thought, not for the first time, of the small stack of similar letters he'd accumulated over the years — requisition disputes, supply reallocations that always seemed to favor garrisons closer to the capital, polite reminders that the eastern frontier existed primarily to be useful and only secondarily to be maintained. The Empire had never once, in eight years, sent a letter asking how he was. It had sent letters about equipment, about casualties as line items, about the cost-efficiency of holding a border that bled men the way a wound bled blood. He had stopped expecting anything else a long time ago. It was easier that way. Expecting nothing meant there was nothing left to be disappointed by.
*"And if you don't comply?"*
"Then eventually they'll send someone to investigate in person, and I'll have considerably less control over what gets found." He rubbed at his temple, the beginnings of a headache announcing themselves with the particular timing headaches always seemed to favor. "I need time. Time to understand what you are well enough to lie about it convincingly, or time to decide there's no lying to be done and prepare for what happens after."
*"You keep talking about protecting me like it's uncomplicated. Like there's an obvious right answer."*
"There rarely is, in my experience. Only which wrong answer costs less."
---
The training yard that afternoon was busier than usual — three new companies had arrived from the western garrisons the week before, green recruits still unused to the particular quality of fear the Abyssal Frontier demanded, and Vane made it a point, as he always did, to personally oversee their first live drills. It was, he had told Marek once, the only way to know which of them would freeze the first time a Rift-Spawn actually looked at them, and freezing on the training ground was a survivable mistake in a way that freezing in the field rarely was.
Eric, predictably, had opinions about this.
*"You don't have to run every drill yourself. You have officers for that."*
"My officers weren't there the first time I froze," Vane said, watching a young recruit — the same boy who'd sworn he'd seen a ghost step out of the Marshal's chest — fumble his footing against a training dummy rigged to mimic a Rift-Spawn's low, scuttling charge. "I was. I remember exactly what it cost the man standing next to me. I'd rather bear the tedium of teaching it myself than let another boy learn that lesson from a corpse."
*"That's not tedium. That's grief wearing a work schedule."*
Around them, the yard rang with the ordinary chaos of drill — shouted corrections, the dull thud of practice blades on padded dummies, the occasional yelp of a recruit discovering the hard way that a Rift-Spawn's reach was longer than it looked. None of it seemed to notice or care that a Marshal and the voice in his chest were, in that moment, circling something neither of them had planned to say aloud.
Vane's step faltered, just slightly, at that — enough that he was grateful the recruits were too busy fumbling their footwork to notice. It was, he thought, an unnervingly precise way to describe eight years of his life, and he wasn't certain he liked how easily Eric had found the words for something Vane himself had never quite managed to name.
"You have a talent for that," he said, low.
*"For what?"*
"Saying the thing before I've admitted it to myself."
*"Occupational hazard,"* Eric said, and there was something almost gentle beneath the dry humor of it. *"People rarely tell their doctors the truth outright. You learn to hear it in the shape of what they don't say."*
Vane didn't answer that, mostly because he suspected Eric was right, and there was no version of admitting it aloud that wouldn't feel like tearing something open in front of an audience of frightened teenagers.
The recruit — Corven, Vane recalled, seventeen and lying about it, the kind of boy who'd talk himself into any amount of danger before admitting he was afraid — went down hard under the dummy's swinging arm, and came up with blood in his mouth and fury in his eyes, and threw himself back at the drill with a recklessness that made Vane's own pulse spike in sympathy before he'd even decided to feel anything about it.
It was, Vane thought, watching the boy scramble upright a second time, an uncomfortably familiar shape of courage — the kind built entirely out of refusing to admit fear existed, rather than out of any real absence of it. He had worn that same shape once, a very long time ago, before the frontier taught him the difference between bravery and simply not knowing yet what there was to lose.
*"His form is terrible,"* Eric observed. *"He's leading with his shoulder instead of his hip. He's going to dislocate something within the week if no one corrects it."*
"You've been in my chest for three days and you've already got opinions about my recruits' hip alignment."
*"I have opinions about everything. It's a professional flaw. Also, in my defense, hip alignment is directly relevant to whether that boy still has a functioning shoulder joint in five years, which does technically fall under my purview now, given our arrangement."*
"You have opinions about swordsmanship now."
*"I have opinions about joint mechanics. Swordsmanship is just where you happen to be applying them badly."*
"I once dislocated my own shoulder trying to prove a point to an instructor," Vane admitted, half to himself. "Took me three weeks to earn back the range of motion. He was right, and I still hated him for it."
*"Was the point worth three weeks of a bad shoulder?"*
"No point ever is. That's usually the last thing you learn, not the first."
Vane, despite himself, laughed — a short, surprised bark of a sound that turned three recruits' heads and made Marek, across the yard, glance over with open curiosity, since the Marshal was not, by any account, known for laughing on duty. Vane ignored the looks, walked over, and spent the better part of an hour correcting Corven's stance with a patience he hadn't known he still had in him, occasionally passing along a piece of advice that came out sounding like his own instinct and was, in fact, Eric quietly narrating human anatomy into the back of his skull.
By the time the drill ended, Corven's form had improved considerably, and the boy was staring at Vane with the kind of wide-eyed, unearned devotion young soldiers sometimes developed for officers who bothered to notice them at all.
"Don't let it go to your head," Vane told him, gruffly, and walked away before the boy could say anything that would embarrass them both.
Behind him, he heard Corven mutter something to the recruit beside him — *he actually noticed me* — in a tone of quiet, disbelieving wonder that made something in Vane's chest tighten with an old, familiar ache. He remembered being that age, that hungry for a single officer's attention, and remembered, too, exactly how rarely it had ever come.
*"That was kind of you,"* Eric said, once they were out of earshot.
"It was practical. A soldier who can't hold a stance is a soldier I'll be writing a death notice for within the season."
*"It was both. You're allowed to let it be both, you know. Kindness doesn't stop being kindness just because it's also useful."*
Vane didn't have an answer for that either, and was beginning to suspect that Eric noticed exactly how often that was true.
Marek found him afterward, leaning against the fence rail with the particular expression he wore when he intended to say something Vane wouldn't want to hear. "You laughed," he said, without preamble.
"I'm capable of it."
"You're capable of it about as often as the sun rises in the west. Something's changed since the ridge." Marek's eyes narrowed, not unkindly, more the look of a man doing careful arithmetic. "Whatever that weapon is. Whatever's really going on with you. I hope it's good for you, whatever it is. You've earned something good for once."
Vane didn't answer that either, mostly because he didn't trust his own voice not to give away more than he intended, and Marek — old friend that he was — had the grace to let the silence stand without pushing further, and walked off toward the mess tent whistling something tuneless and almost cheerful, as if he'd said exactly as much as he meant to and no more.
Vane watched him go, remembering the two of them ten years younger and considerably greener, both still convinced back then that competence alone would keep everyone under their command alive. They had learned otherwise together, in the particular way frontier postings taught such lessons — through loss, mostly, and through the slow accumulation of names neither of them said aloud anymore. Marek was the closest thing Vane had to family left in the Empire, and he had still never told him the truth about half of what kept him awake at night.
---
That evening, over a meal Vane actually finished — three courses, at Eric's increasingly insistent urging — Vane found himself, not for the first time, studying the strange shape of the last few days. He had spent nearly a decade at this posting learning to need nothing from anyone, to want nothing he couldn't provide for himself, because wanting things in a place like the Abyssal Frontier was how you ended up grieving them. And now there was a voice in his chest that noticed when he skipped meals, that argued with him about sleep, that had — twice now — said something so plainly, unguardedly kind that Vane hadn't known what to do with his own face in response.
"The Chancellery letter," he said, into the quiet of his tent. "I need an answer before the frost. What do I tell them?"
*"The truth, mostly, with the parts that would get either of us killed left out. Say the weapon manifested from an unknown magical source during an extreme physiological crisis, that its origin and mechanism are still being studied, and that removing it prematurely could prove fatal to the host. All of that is technically true. None of it explains what I actually am."*
"They won't accept vague."
*"They rarely accept anything else, in my limited experience of this Empire so far. Bureaucracies want certainty even when certainty doesn't exist. I've dealt with review boards before — not magical ones, but the principle's the same. You give them enough truth to survive the audit, and you protect the part that would get someone hurt if it left the room."*
"You had review boards, where you're from."
*"Constantly. Hospital ethics committees, licensing boards, insurance auditors who'd never held a scalpel questioning decisions I made in four seconds to keep someone from dying on my table. I got very good at giving people exactly enough truth to stop asking questions. It's not so different from what you're describing, honestly — just with fewer swords involved and considerably more paperwork."*
"You make it sound simple."
*"It isn't. But you've been doing some version of it for eight years without me. I'm just the first person helping you do it on purpose instead of by instinct."*
*"Then we buy time until we have something less vague to give them, or until you're strong enough — we're strong enough — that it doesn't matter what they accept."* A pause. *"I don't like the idea of you facing an Imperial inquiry alone any more than you like the idea of a Chancellery mage taking me apart to see how I work. We're going to have to get better at this together, and quickly."*
"Together," Vane repeated, testing the word.
*"Unless you have a better one. I don't currently have anywhere else to be."*
"You could have anywhere else to be. If we ever find a way to send you back — to whatever world you came from — would you take it?"
The pause that followed lasted long enough that Vane thought, for a moment, he'd asked something cruel without meaning to. *"I don't know,"* Eric said finally, quiet and honest in a way that clearly cost him something. *"A week ago I would have said yes without hesitating. There was a life there. People I cared about, work that mattered. Now I don't know what's waiting for me there, or if anything is, or whether the version of me that existed before this would even recognize the one talking to you right now."*
"That's not an answer."
*"It's the only one I have tonight. Ask me again after the frost."*
Vane wanted, absurdly, to press further — to ask what exactly Eric meant by *anything*, whether it was truly the work he'd miss or something else entirely, something neither of them had a name for yet. He didn't. Some questions, he'd learned a long time ago, were better left to answer themselves in their own time, and he suspected this was one of them.
Vane let it go, though the question stayed with him longer than he expected, turning over slow and unwelcome in the back of his mind like a stone worked loose from a riverbed. He had spent eight years learning not to want things he might lose. It occurred to him, uncomfortably, that he had already broken that rule at least once this week, and hadn't even noticed doing it.
Vane huffed something that wasn't quite a laugh, and lay back on his cot, one hand settling — as it did now, almost every night, without his permission or full awareness — over the place on his chest where he could feel, faint and steady, the strange second pulse that had become, in the space of only a few days, something he would have been ashamed to admit he'd already grown to rely on.
"Together, then," he said, quietly, to the dark, and felt something in his chest — the ordinary, mortal part of it — ease, just slightly, the way it always did now when Eric was close and listening.
Outside, somewhere past the tent walls, a sentry called the hour, and the ordinary business of the frontier carried on around them the way it always did — watch changing, fires banked low, the camp settling into the particular quiet that came before the deepest part of night. Vane found he did not mind it tonight, the smallness of the routine, the sameness of it. It was, for once, enough simply to be tired and warm and not entirely alone.
*"Get some sleep, Marshal,"* Eric said, gentler than Vane had heard him yet. *"We'll fight the Empire tomorrow. Tonight, just rest."*
"You keep saying 'we.'"
*"Get used to it,"* Eric said, and there was no retreat in it this time, no clinical hedge, just a quiet, plain certainty that settled over Vane like a second blanket against the frontier cold. *"I told you. I don't currently have anywhere else to be. And even if I did, I'm not sure I'd take it."*
Vane closed his eyes at that, and did not trust himself to answer, and let the silence hold the shape of everything neither of them was ready to say aloud instead.
He lay a while longer in the dark, listening to the wind test the tent seams, and found his thoughts circling back, unbidden, to the boy in the training yard — the reckless, fearless shape of him, so eager to prove he could not be broken. Vane had been that boy once, a long time ago, before the frontier had taught him the difference between courage and the refusal to admit fear existed at all. He wondered, drifting, whether Eric had been someone's Corven once too — someone who had thrown himself at impossible odds long enough that no one around him thought to ask if he needed rest, until the asking came too late to matter.
*"You're thinking too loudly,"* Eric murmured, half amused, half something softer. *"I can practically hear it."*
"Is that a medical observation or a complaint?"
*"Both. Sleep, Vane."*
It was the first time Eric had used his given name instead of his rank, and Vane noticed it the way he noticed very little else anymore — sharply, entirely, with a warmth in his chest that had nothing to do with fever and everything to do with being, for the first time in a very long while, someone rather than something useful.
And, for once, Vane did as he was told, and slept through the rest of that night without waking, without dreaming, without the old familiar weight of bracing for whatever the dark might otherwise have brought — the longest, quietest rest he had managed in longer than he could easily remember.
You've reached the end of this chapter
Three days after the battle at the ridge, a courier arrived from the capital, and Vane knew before he broke the seal that it would ruin his morning.
He read it standing, boots still muddy from the training yard, while Eric — quiet, for once, the way he'd learned to go quiet when he sensed Vane needed to think without commentary — waited somewhere behind his ribs like a held breath.
*Marshal Blackthorne is to submit a full accounting of the incident at the eastern ridge, including the nature and origin of the weapon employed, no later than the first frost. The Chancellery reminds the Marshal that all magical artifacts discovered within Imperial territory are, by law, property of the Crown.*
"Property of the Crown," Vane repeated aloud, flat.
*"That's you they're talking about,"* Eric said. *"In case the phrasing wasn't clear."*
"The phrasing was very clear." Vane folded the letter once, twice, with more precision than the paper deserved, and set it on the corner of his desk where he could ignore it without losing track of it. "They've done this before. Any advantage that isn't theirs by design, they claim by decree. It saves them the trouble of earning it."
He thought, not for the first time, of the small stack of similar letters he'd accumulated over the years — requisition disputes, supply reallocations that always seemed to favor garrisons closer to the capital, polite reminders that the eastern frontier existed primarily to be useful and only secondarily to be maintained. The Empire had never once, in eight years, sent a letter asking how he was. It had sent letters about equipment, about casualties as line items, about the cost-efficiency of holding a border that bled men the way a wound bled blood. He had stopped expecting anything else a long time ago. It was easier that way. Expecting nothing meant there was nothing left to be disappointed by.
*"And if you don't comply?"*
"Then eventually they'll send someone to investigate in person, and I'll have considerably less control over what gets found." He rubbed at his temple, the beginnings of a headache announcing themselves with the particular timing headaches always seemed to favor. "I need time. Time to understand what you are well enough to lie about it convincingly, or time to decide there's no lying to be done and prepare for what happens after."
*"You keep talking about protecting me like it's uncomplicated. Like there's an obvious right answer."*
"There rarely is, in my experience. Only which wrong answer costs less."
---
The training yard that afternoon was busier than usual — three new companies had arrived from the western garrisons the week before, green recruits still unused to the particular quality of fear the Abyssal Frontier demanded, and Vane made it a point, as he always did, to personally oversee their first live drills. It was, he had told Marek once, the only way to know which of them would freeze the first time a Rift-Spawn actually looked at them, and freezing on the training ground was a survivable mistake in a way that freezing in the field rarely was.
Eric, predictably, had opinions about this.
*"You don't have to run every drill yourself. You have officers for that."*
"My officers weren't there the first time I froze," Vane said, watching a young recruit — the same boy who'd sworn he'd seen a ghost step out of the Marshal's chest — fumble his footing against a training dummy rigged to mimic a Rift-Spawn's low, scuttling charge. "I was. I remember exactly what it cost the man standing next to me. I'd rather bear the tedium of teaching it myself than let another boy learn that lesson from a corpse."
*"That's not tedium. That's grief wearing a work schedule."*
Around them, the yard rang with the ordinary chaos of drill — shouted corrections, the dull thud of practice blades on padded dummies, the occasional yelp of a recruit discovering the hard way that a Rift-Spawn's reach was longer than it looked. None of it seemed to notice or care that a Marshal and the voice in his chest were, in that moment, circling something neither of them had planned to say aloud.
Vane's step faltered, just slightly, at that — enough that he was grateful the recruits were too busy fumbling their footwork to notice. It was, he thought, an unnervingly precise way to describe eight years of his life, and he wasn't certain he liked how easily Eric had found the words for something Vane himself had never quite managed to name.
"You have a talent for that," he said, low.
*"For what?"*
"Saying the thing before I've admitted it to myself."
*"Occupational hazard,"* Eric said, and there was something almost gentle beneath the dry humor of it. *"People rarely tell their doctors the truth outright. You learn to hear it in the shape of what they don't say."*
Vane didn't answer that, mostly because he suspected Eric was right, and there was no version of admitting it aloud that wouldn't feel like tearing something open in front of an audience of frightened teenagers.
The recruit — Corven, Vane recalled, seventeen and lying about it, the kind of boy who'd talk himself into any amount of danger before admitting he was afraid — went down hard under the dummy's swinging arm, and came up with blood in his mouth and fury in his eyes, and threw himself back at the drill with a recklessness that made Vane's own pulse spike in sympathy before he'd even decided to feel anything about it.
It was, Vane thought, watching the boy scramble upright a second time, an uncomfortably familiar shape of courage — the kind built entirely out of refusing to admit fear existed, rather than out of any real absence of it. He had worn that same shape once, a very long time ago, before the frontier taught him the difference between bravery and simply not knowing yet what there was to lose.
*"His form is terrible,"* Eric observed. *"He's leading with his shoulder instead of his hip. He's going to dislocate something within the week if no one corrects it."*
"You've been in my chest for three days and you've already got opinions about my recruits' hip alignment."
*"I have opinions about everything. It's a professional flaw. Also, in my defense, hip alignment is directly relevant to whether that boy still has a functioning shoulder joint in five years, which does technically fall under my purview now, given our arrangement."*
"You have opinions about swordsmanship now."
*"I have opinions about joint mechanics. Swordsmanship is just where you happen to be applying them badly."*
"I once dislocated my own shoulder trying to prove a point to an instructor," Vane admitted, half to himself. "Took me three weeks to earn back the range of motion. He was right, and I still hated him for it."
*"Was the point worth three weeks of a bad shoulder?"*
"No point ever is. That's usually the last thing you learn, not the first."
Vane, despite himself, laughed — a short, surprised bark of a sound that turned three recruits' heads and made Marek, across the yard, glance over with open curiosity, since the Marshal was not, by any account, known for laughing on duty. Vane ignored the looks, walked over, and spent the better part of an hour correcting Corven's stance with a patience he hadn't known he still had in him, occasionally passing along a piece of advice that came out sounding like his own instinct and was, in fact, Eric quietly narrating human anatomy into the back of his skull.
By the time the drill ended, Corven's form had improved considerably, and the boy was staring at Vane with the kind of wide-eyed, unearned devotion young soldiers sometimes developed for officers who bothered to notice them at all.
"Don't let it go to your head," Vane told him, gruffly, and walked away before the boy could say anything that would embarrass them both.
Behind him, he heard Corven mutter something to the recruit beside him — *he actually noticed me* — in a tone of quiet, disbelieving wonder that made something in Vane's chest tighten with an old, familiar ache. He remembered being that age, that hungry for a single officer's attention, and remembered, too, exactly how rarely it had ever come.
*"That was kind of you,"* Eric said, once they were out of earshot.
"It was practical. A soldier who can't hold a stance is a soldier I'll be writing a death notice for within the season."
*"It was both. You're allowed to let it be both, you know. Kindness doesn't stop being kindness just because it's also useful."*
Vane didn't have an answer for that either, and was beginning to suspect that Eric noticed exactly how often that was true.
Marek found him afterward, leaning against the fence rail with the particular expression he wore when he intended to say something Vane wouldn't want to hear. "You laughed," he said, without preamble.
"I'm capable of it."
"You're capable of it about as often as the sun rises in the west. Something's changed since the ridge." Marek's eyes narrowed, not unkindly, more the look of a man doing careful arithmetic. "Whatever that weapon is. Whatever's really going on with you. I hope it's good for you, whatever it is. You've earned something good for once."
Vane didn't answer that either, mostly because he didn't trust his own voice not to give away more than he intended, and Marek — old friend that he was — had the grace to let the silence stand without pushing further, and walked off toward the mess tent whistling something tuneless and almost cheerful, as if he'd said exactly as much as he meant to and no more.
Vane watched him go, remembering the two of them ten years younger and considerably greener, both still convinced back then that competence alone would keep everyone under their command alive. They had learned otherwise together, in the particular way frontier postings taught such lessons — through loss, mostly, and through the slow accumulation of names neither of them said aloud anymore. Marek was the closest thing Vane had to family left in the Empire, and he had still never told him the truth about half of what kept him awake at night.
---
That evening, over a meal Vane actually finished — three courses, at Eric's increasingly insistent urging — Vane found himself, not for the first time, studying the strange shape of the last few days. He had spent nearly a decade at this posting learning to need nothing from anyone, to want nothing he couldn't provide for himself, because wanting things in a place like the Abyssal Frontier was how you ended up grieving them. And now there was a voice in his chest that noticed when he skipped meals, that argued with him about sleep, that had — twice now — said something so plainly, unguardedly kind that Vane hadn't known what to do with his own face in response.
"The Chancellery letter," he said, into the quiet of his tent. "I need an answer before the frost. What do I tell them?"
*"The truth, mostly, with the parts that would get either of us killed left out. Say the weapon manifested from an unknown magical source during an extreme physiological crisis, that its origin and mechanism are still being studied, and that removing it prematurely could prove fatal to the host. All of that is technically true. None of it explains what I actually am."*
"They won't accept vague."
*"They rarely accept anything else, in my limited experience of this Empire so far. Bureaucracies want certainty even when certainty doesn't exist. I've dealt with review boards before — not magical ones, but the principle's the same. You give them enough truth to survive the audit, and you protect the part that would get someone hurt if it left the room."*
"You had review boards, where you're from."
*"Constantly. Hospital ethics committees, licensing boards, insurance auditors who'd never held a scalpel questioning decisions I made in four seconds to keep someone from dying on my table. I got very good at giving people exactly enough truth to stop asking questions. It's not so different from what you're describing, honestly — just with fewer swords involved and considerably more paperwork."*
"You make it sound simple."
*"It isn't. But you've been doing some version of it for eight years without me. I'm just the first person helping you do it on purpose instead of by instinct."*
*"Then we buy time until we have something less vague to give them, or until you're strong enough — we're strong enough — that it doesn't matter what they accept."* A pause. *"I don't like the idea of you facing an Imperial inquiry alone any more than you like the idea of a Chancellery mage taking me apart to see how I work. We're going to have to get better at this together, and quickly."*
"Together," Vane repeated, testing the word.
*"Unless you have a better one. I don't currently have anywhere else to be."*
"You could have anywhere else to be. If we ever find a way to send you back — to whatever world you came from — would you take it?"
The pause that followed lasted long enough that Vane thought, for a moment, he'd asked something cruel without meaning to. *"I don't know,"* Eric said finally, quiet and honest in a way that clearly cost him something. *"A week ago I would have said yes without hesitating. There was a life there. People I cared about, work that mattered. Now I don't know what's waiting for me there, or if anything is, or whether the version of me that existed before this would even recognize the one talking to you right now."*
"That's not an answer."
*"It's the only one I have tonight. Ask me again after the frost."*
Vane wanted, absurdly, to press further — to ask what exactly Eric meant by *anything*, whether it was truly the work he'd miss or something else entirely, something neither of them had a name for yet. He didn't. Some questions, he'd learned a long time ago, were better left to answer themselves in their own time, and he suspected this was one of them.
Vane let it go, though the question stayed with him longer than he expected, turning over slow and unwelcome in the back of his mind like a stone worked loose from a riverbed. He had spent eight years learning not to want things he might lose. It occurred to him, uncomfortably, that he had already broken that rule at least once this week, and hadn't even noticed doing it.
Vane huffed something that wasn't quite a laugh, and lay back on his cot, one hand settling — as it did now, almost every night, without his permission or full awareness — over the place on his chest where he could feel, faint and steady, the strange second pulse that had become, in the space of only a few days, something he would have been ashamed to admit he'd already grown to rely on.
"Together, then," he said, quietly, to the dark, and felt something in his chest — the ordinary, mortal part of it — ease, just slightly, the way it always did now when Eric was close and listening.
Outside, somewhere past the tent walls, a sentry called the hour, and the ordinary business of the frontier carried on around them the way it always did — watch changing, fires banked low, the camp settling into the particular quiet that came before the deepest part of night. Vane found he did not mind it tonight, the smallness of the routine, the sameness of it. It was, for once, enough simply to be tired and warm and not entirely alone.
*"Get some sleep, Marshal,"* Eric said, gentler than Vane had heard him yet. *"We'll fight the Empire tomorrow. Tonight, just rest."*
"You keep saying 'we.'"
*"Get used to it,"* Eric said, and there was no retreat in it this time, no clinical hedge, just a quiet, plain certainty that settled over Vane like a second blanket against the frontier cold. *"I told you. I don't currently have anywhere else to be. And even if I did, I'm not sure I'd take it."*
Vane closed his eyes at that, and did not trust himself to answer, and let the silence hold the shape of everything neither of them was ready to say aloud instead.
He lay a while longer in the dark, listening to the wind test the tent seams, and found his thoughts circling back, unbidden, to the boy in the training yard — the reckless, fearless shape of him, so eager to prove he could not be broken. Vane had been that boy once, a long time ago, before the frontier had taught him the difference between courage and the refusal to admit fear existed at all. He wondered, drifting, whether Eric had been someone's Corven once too — someone who had thrown himself at impossible odds long enough that no one around him thought to ask if he needed rest, until the asking came too late to matter.
*"You're thinking too loudly,"* Eric murmured, half amused, half something softer. *"I can practically hear it."*
"Is that a medical observation or a complaint?"
*"Both. Sleep, Vane."*
It was the first time Eric had used his given name instead of his rank, and Vane noticed it the way he noticed very little else anymore — sharply, entirely, with a warmth in his chest that had nothing to do with fever and everything to do with being, for the first time in a very long while, someone rather than something useful.
And, for once, Vane did as he was told, and slept through the rest of that night without waking, without dreaming, without the old familiar weight of bracing for whatever the dark might otherwise have brought — the longest, quietest rest he had managed in longer than he could easily remember.
You've reached the end of this chapter