Several days passed in the particular, suspended tension of a household holding its breath — the ceremony now close enough that every department had begun the final, frantic push of preparation, and every person in the keep seemed to be operating at the absolute outer edge of their usual composure. Hesketh's instructions arrived shorter and sharper than usual. The kitchens had stopped pretending to observe normal sleeping hours. Even Birdie, reliably cheerful through every previous crisis, had taken to muttering under her breath about supply allocations with a specificity that suggested she'd been doing inventory in her sleep.
Elsie moved through it all with the same careful, methodical attention she'd maintained across her entire time at Caldreth, though she noticed, doing her rounds one morning with the particular honest clarity that sometimes arrived with fatigue, that the careful attention had become something very slightly different over the past several days. She was no longer cataloguing the household's patterns primarily to avoid them. She was cataloguing them, now, the way someone catalogued weather — aware of it, accounting for it, but no longer certain that any catalogue would ultimately keep her safe from the storm itself. The distinction had arrived quietly, without any single moment she could point to as the cause, the same way most of the significant changes in her thinking seemed to arrive these days.
She was still turning this over, walking back from an errand to the outer stores, when Birdie caught up with her.
---
"He's here," Birdie said, without preamble, with the slightly breathless energy she usually reserved for the most significant household gossip. "The paladin prince. Arrived an hour ago with a small escort — nothing like what everyone was expecting, honestly, given his history. Half the stewards thought he'd come in full military regalia. He showed up in traveling clothes and thanked the groom who took his horse."
"That's unusually modest, for visiting nobility," Elsie said, in the mild, conversational tone she used when Birdie was delivering information she needed to absorb carefully without appearing to absorb carefully.
"Isn't it? He's apparently been traveling rough for months, from what the escort said. Something about the route being safer overland than through the usual ports." Birdie shrugged. "Anyway. Thought you'd want to know, given how close to the ceremony we're getting now. Things are going to get considerably more complicated from here."
"Things have been considerably complicated for some time," Elsie said, which was, by a comfortable margin, the truest thing she'd said all morning, and filed the new arrival away alongside everything else this household had accumulated around her, with the particular methodical caution she applied to every new variable she had no reliable way to predict.
---
She encountered him less than an hour later, entirely without planning to.
The corridor near the east-wing guest quarters had always been one of her more manageable routes — seldom busy, easily navigated, the kind of hallway that had never once, in two months of careful use, produced an unexpected complication. She had not accounted for the possibility that a newly arrived guest and his small escort might be precisely in the process of settling into those guest quarters at the exact moment she needed to pass through them.
Elsie arrived at the corridor's junction to find a small knot of movement blocking the way — two guards, a household steward pointing out features of the room with the harried efficiency of a man whose schedule was already three things behind, and at the center of it, a tall figure in worn traveling clothes whose posture, even in this unguarded, logistical moment, carried the particular easy authority of someone accustomed to both comfort and danger in equal measure.
She stopped, calculating quickly whether to wait or to find another route, and in the half-second she spent making that calculation, he turned — not because she'd made any particular noise, simply the natural rotation of someone maintaining peripheral awareness in an unfamiliar space — and their eyes met, briefly, across the corridor's short width.
He was younger than she'd expected, or perhaps simply less tired-looking than the general population of Caldreth's recent arrivals — a broad, open face with the kind of weathered quality that came from genuinely spending time outdoors rather than simply studying maps of outdoor spaces, and eyes that held the particular clear, uncomplicated attention of someone who'd learned, somewhere along the way, to actually look at the people in front of him.
Most of the household staff had, by this point, developed the instinctive habit of pressing themselves against the wall when important visitors passed, a reflex born of months of important visitors arriving in steady succession. Elsie, holding a tray with both hands and no available space to press herself anywhere, simply stood where she was.
---
"My apologies," he said, stepping slightly to one side to clear her path, with the easy, unpretentious courtesy of someone who'd genuinely meant the apology rather than simply deploying it as social requirement. "You were there first. I hope we haven't been completely blocking the corridor."
"Not at all, my lord," Elsie said, with the small, practiced courtesy she kept ready for exactly these encounters, angling herself to pass alongside his escort with the minimum necessary inconvenience.
"Are you part of the household's dispensary?" He glanced at her tray with the slightly incongruous observational precision of someone whose background had apparently trained him to notice the contents of medical supplies the same way other people noticed furniture.
"I am, my lord." She kept her tone professionally neutral, the same register she'd used with half the visiting nobility who'd crossed her path over the past several weeks.
"Good to know." He said it without further elaboration, with no particular ulterior motive visible in the observation, simply the practical note of a man filing away useful information about his immediate environment. "I'll try not to require your services, but good to know regardless."
She moved past without further exchange, the tray balanced, her pace brisk and purposeful, and did not allow herself to look back at the expression that had followed her down the corridor — though she had, in the brief, accidental meeting of eyes, registered something she hadn't expected from the man the book had once described as Seraphine's destined companion in the story's larger arc. He had looked at her the way people very rarely looked at her, or at anyone occupying her current position in the household's careful hierarchy. He had looked at her like a person, plainly and without any particular agenda attached to the looking.
It was, she recognized with some reluctant honesty, the same quality she'd noticed in Castian during the fever, when he'd set down every other version of himself the moment he walked through his brother's door. The capacity to genuinely see a person standing in front of you, rather than simply registering their function. She'd assumed, when she'd first encountered it, that it was some particular and unusual quality Castian possessed alone. Meeting Aldous, she revised this: it appeared to be simply a quality that some people possessed and most people didn't, distributed without particular regard for the narrative roles they'd been assigned.
---
She thought about this — briefly, and without allowing herself to attach too much significance to it — through the remainder of her morning rounds, turning over the encounter with the same methodical attention she'd applied to every other new development at Caldreth. He was, by every observable measure in the past several minutes, exactly what the half-remembered book had described: a genuinely decent man, apparently without calculation, who occupied his considerable power with considerably less self-consciousness than most of the people she'd met at his level.
He also, she noted with some private uncertainty, had clearly noticed her above the several other household staff currently occupying the same corridor — something she'd spent two months painstakingly ensuring never happened with anyone who mattered. She filed this observation away without any immediate conclusion attached, in the particular unresolved category that had been accumulating entries at a rather alarming rate recently, and continued on toward the afternoon's remaining tasks. She had, as always, considerably more of them than the hours available had been designed to hold.
It was through the back corridor near the dispensary's supply alcove, late in the afternoon, that she overheard Hesketh.
She was returning from a short errand, occupied enough with her own thoughts to reach the corridor's junction before registering that the voices on the other side belonged to Hesketh and Mrs. Adare, speaking in the low, careful cadence of two women discussing something they didn't particularly want carried through the household.
"— three days in a row now, the same pattern," Mrs. Adare was saying, with the strained, controlled worry of someone who'd long since learned to deliver medical reports without letting the worry through too completely. "The fever isn't returning, but his color is wrong, and he hasn't been eating since Monday. The standing tonic isn't doing what it was."
"I'll adjust the preparation," Hesketh said, in the brisk, efficient tone she used for problems she already knew how to solve.
"The Lord Regent will want to know," Mrs. Adare said.
A small pause. "He's in the middle of receiving four different sets of visitors simultaneously, Mrs. Adare, two of whom are considerably more difficult than he was expecting. I'll manage the adjustment tonight. He doesn't need more to worry about until I've seen whether it works."
"If it doesn't—"
"It will. This is a dosage question, not a deterioration. I've seen this pattern before — the body begins to require a slightly larger measure after an extended illness. It's a good sign, actually, in its own inconvenient way."
Elsie moved past the junction before the conversation concluded, carrying the information away with her along with the several other things she'd already gathered about Emeric's case through months of careful, attentive deliveries — and felt, walking back toward the dispensary, the particular, uncomfortable clarity of knowing something useful that she had, somewhat against the plan she'd made for herself, every practical reason to act on.
---
She sat with the problem for the better part of an hour, while the dispensary's late-afternoon work thinned around her and her colleagues drifted toward their own end-of-day tasks. Hesketh's intended adjustment was sound, as far as it went. But Elsie had been watching Emeric's case specifically for long enough to know that the current pattern — the reduced efficacy, the slight discoloration, the appetite change — had a more precise cause than simple extended-illness tolerance, one she'd noted in her own records three weeks earlier and had been waiting, somewhat uneasily, to see someone else identify.
Hesketh would get there, given time. The adjustment she intended would help, but not correct the underlying issue, and the delay between tonight's preparation and the correct solution would add unnecessary days to a pattern that was, by Mrs. Adare's account, already concerning.
*This is not your responsibility,* the careful, sensible voice in her head pointed out, with the particular firm patience she'd trained into it across five years of exactly this kind of temptation. *You are a dispensary assistant. Hesketh is capable. The correct thing to do is stay out of it and let the person who is actually responsible handle it.*
All of this was true. Elsie was aware that it was true.
She was also aware, with considerably more weight, that she had been watching Emeric's case for two months with the specific, undivided attention of someone who had, however accidentally and however much against her original intentions, come to care about the outcome. Not for any reason connected to Castian, she told herself carefully — or not primarily. Simply because a young man had been ill for years, in a quiet room at the end of a quiet corridor, and she had been the one delivering his medicine, and she knew, with the particular precision of someone who had made this her quiet, private study across two months of careful observation, exactly what the pattern in front of her meant and exactly what would correct it. The knowledge felt, in this moment, less like private property than it had felt an hour ago.
She thought of the notebook entry from their encounter in the rain — *two people who'd each spent years learning to need nothing from anyone* — and recognized, setting pen to paper, that need was perhaps not the right word for what she'd slowly, inconveniently accumulated across two months of watching a man check his brother's medicine logs himself, by candlelight, long after the rest of the household had gone to bed.
She wrote the note. Brief, technical, clinical — precisely the kind of communication she would make about any case where she'd observed something a senior member of the team had missed, stripped entirely of any personal register, signed simply with her dispensary position. She sealed it, took it down to Theon's office on the pretext of an unrelated errand, and handed it to the young aide on duty with the request that it reach Lord Regent Vael that evening, regarding the dispensary case in the east wing.
She walked back to her room afterward with the particular hollow, unsettled feeling of having done something she'd expressly told herself not to do, while being entirely unable to identify which part of it, examined honestly, she actually regretted.
---
She did not sleep easily, but she slept, and woke to the particular, alert quality of early morning that usually meant something had changed in the night without her being present to observe it.
Theon was in the dispensary before the first bell, which was unusual enough to be immediately conspicuous. He said nothing until Elsie had set down the tray she'd been preparing, and when he spoke, it was with the same careful, neutral professionalism he brought to every interaction, giving nothing away about what he thought of finding himself the messenger between a dispensary assistant and the man he served.
"Lord Regent received your note," he said, setting a folded piece of paper on Elsie's worktable beside the tray. "His response."
She unfolded it with hands that were, to her private embarrassment, not entirely steady. The handwriting was tighter and more controlled than she'd expected from a man who'd apparently written it in the small hours of the night — a man who had, she realized, been awake with his brother's condition when the note arrived, or who had woken immediately upon receiving it, which was in some ways considerably more unsettling. He had not waited until morning. He had not passed it back through Hesketh's channels, the entirely reasonable, appropriate response to a junior dispensary hand submitting an unsolicited recommendation outside the normal chain of communication.
He had simply answered.
*Adjustment noted. Implement per your recommendation. — CV.*
Four words beyond the initial instruction. No elaboration. No thanks, formal or otherwise. Simply the brisk, efficient acknowledgment of a man who'd read a careful medical note and acted on it immediately, trusting the judgment of the person who'd written it enough to bypass the usual chain of review entirely. The same way, she understood, that he had apparently always handled matters relating to his brother's care — not with the elaborate apparatus of court procedure, but directly, quickly, without ceremony.
Elsie stood in the dispensary's early morning quiet, reading four words and an initial, and thought of Isolde's careful warning about position and propriety, and Theon's unresolved file and the pattern-keeper's pending watchfulness, and the five years of rules she'd constructed specifically to prevent exactly this accumulation of small, unauthorized connections to the most dangerous person in the kingdom.
She thought of all of this, and she folded the note, and put it in her pocket.
Theon observed this without visible reaction, inclined his head once with the economical courtesy of a man who had clearly formed his own, private opinions about the exchange he'd just facilitated and intended to keep them entirely to himself, and left without further comment.
Elsie stood for a moment in the dispensary's quiet, with his handwriting folded against her side and the day's first tasks waiting, and felt the careful distance she'd spent several days constructing around herself develop, with no particular permission sought, another small, entirely unauthorized crack — the fourth, or perhaps the fifth, depending on how carefully she was counting.
She had stopped counting, she realized, sometime in the night. She was no longer certain when.
You've reached the end of this chapter
Several days passed in the particular, suspended tension of a household holding its breath — the ceremony now close enough that every department had begun the final, frantic push of preparation, and every person in the keep seemed to be operating at the absolute outer edge of their usual composure. Hesketh's instructions arrived shorter and sharper than usual. The kitchens had stopped pretending to observe normal sleeping hours. Even Birdie, reliably cheerful through every previous crisis, had taken to muttering under her breath about supply allocations with a specificity that suggested she'd been doing inventory in her sleep.
Elsie moved through it all with the same careful, methodical attention she'd maintained across her entire time at Caldreth, though she noticed, doing her rounds one morning with the particular honest clarity that sometimes arrived with fatigue, that the careful attention had become something very slightly different over the past several days. She was no longer cataloguing the household's patterns primarily to avoid them. She was cataloguing them, now, the way someone catalogued weather — aware of it, accounting for it, but no longer certain that any catalogue would ultimately keep her safe from the storm itself. The distinction had arrived quietly, without any single moment she could point to as the cause, the same way most of the significant changes in her thinking seemed to arrive these days.
She was still turning this over, walking back from an errand to the outer stores, when Birdie caught up with her.
---
"He's here," Birdie said, without preamble, with the slightly breathless energy she usually reserved for the most significant household gossip. "The paladin prince. Arrived an hour ago with a small escort — nothing like what everyone was expecting, honestly, given his history. Half the stewards thought he'd come in full military regalia. He showed up in traveling clothes and thanked the groom who took his horse."
"That's unusually modest, for visiting nobility," Elsie said, in the mild, conversational tone she used when Birdie was delivering information she needed to absorb carefully without appearing to absorb carefully.
"Isn't it? He's apparently been traveling rough for months, from what the escort said. Something about the route being safer overland than through the usual ports." Birdie shrugged. "Anyway. Thought you'd want to know, given how close to the ceremony we're getting now. Things are going to get considerably more complicated from here."
"Things have been considerably complicated for some time," Elsie said, which was, by a comfortable margin, the truest thing she'd said all morning, and filed the new arrival away alongside everything else this household had accumulated around her, with the particular methodical caution she applied to every new variable she had no reliable way to predict.
---
She encountered him less than an hour later, entirely without planning to.
The corridor near the east-wing guest quarters had always been one of her more manageable routes — seldom busy, easily navigated, the kind of hallway that had never once, in two months of careful use, produced an unexpected complication. She had not accounted for the possibility that a newly arrived guest and his small escort might be precisely in the process of settling into those guest quarters at the exact moment she needed to pass through them.
Elsie arrived at the corridor's junction to find a small knot of movement blocking the way — two guards, a household steward pointing out features of the room with the harried efficiency of a man whose schedule was already three things behind, and at the center of it, a tall figure in worn traveling clothes whose posture, even in this unguarded, logistical moment, carried the particular easy authority of someone accustomed to both comfort and danger in equal measure.
She stopped, calculating quickly whether to wait or to find another route, and in the half-second she spent making that calculation, he turned — not because she'd made any particular noise, simply the natural rotation of someone maintaining peripheral awareness in an unfamiliar space — and their eyes met, briefly, across the corridor's short width.
He was younger than she'd expected, or perhaps simply less tired-looking than the general population of Caldreth's recent arrivals — a broad, open face with the kind of weathered quality that came from genuinely spending time outdoors rather than simply studying maps of outdoor spaces, and eyes that held the particular clear, uncomplicated attention of someone who'd learned, somewhere along the way, to actually look at the people in front of him.
Most of the household staff had, by this point, developed the instinctive habit of pressing themselves against the wall when important visitors passed, a reflex born of months of important visitors arriving in steady succession. Elsie, holding a tray with both hands and no available space to press herself anywhere, simply stood where she was.
---
"My apologies," he said, stepping slightly to one side to clear her path, with the easy, unpretentious courtesy of someone who'd genuinely meant the apology rather than simply deploying it as social requirement. "You were there first. I hope we haven't been completely blocking the corridor."
"Not at all, my lord," Elsie said, with the small, practiced courtesy she kept ready for exactly these encounters, angling herself to pass alongside his escort with the minimum necessary inconvenience.
"Are you part of the household's dispensary?" He glanced at her tray with the slightly incongruous observational precision of someone whose background had apparently trained him to notice the contents of medical supplies the same way other people noticed furniture.
"I am, my lord." She kept her tone professionally neutral, the same register she'd used with half the visiting nobility who'd crossed her path over the past several weeks.
"Good to know." He said it without further elaboration, with no particular ulterior motive visible in the observation, simply the practical note of a man filing away useful information about his immediate environment. "I'll try not to require your services, but good to know regardless."
She moved past without further exchange, the tray balanced, her pace brisk and purposeful, and did not allow herself to look back at the expression that had followed her down the corridor — though she had, in the brief, accidental meeting of eyes, registered something she hadn't expected from the man the book had once described as Seraphine's destined companion in the story's larger arc. He had looked at her the way people very rarely looked at her, or at anyone occupying her current position in the household's careful hierarchy. He had looked at her like a person, plainly and without any particular agenda attached to the looking.
It was, she recognized with some reluctant honesty, the same quality she'd noticed in Castian during the fever, when he'd set down every other version of himself the moment he walked through his brother's door. The capacity to genuinely see a person standing in front of you, rather than simply registering their function. She'd assumed, when she'd first encountered it, that it was some particular and unusual quality Castian possessed alone. Meeting Aldous, she revised this: it appeared to be simply a quality that some people possessed and most people didn't, distributed without particular regard for the narrative roles they'd been assigned.
---
She thought about this — briefly, and without allowing herself to attach too much significance to it — through the remainder of her morning rounds, turning over the encounter with the same methodical attention she'd applied to every other new development at Caldreth. He was, by every observable measure in the past several minutes, exactly what the half-remembered book had described: a genuinely decent man, apparently without calculation, who occupied his considerable power with considerably less self-consciousness than most of the people she'd met at his level.
He also, she noted with some private uncertainty, had clearly noticed her above the several other household staff currently occupying the same corridor — something she'd spent two months painstakingly ensuring never happened with anyone who mattered. She filed this observation away without any immediate conclusion attached, in the particular unresolved category that had been accumulating entries at a rather alarming rate recently, and continued on toward the afternoon's remaining tasks. She had, as always, considerably more of them than the hours available had been designed to hold.
It was through the back corridor near the dispensary's supply alcove, late in the afternoon, that she overheard Hesketh.
She was returning from a short errand, occupied enough with her own thoughts to reach the corridor's junction before registering that the voices on the other side belonged to Hesketh and Mrs. Adare, speaking in the low, careful cadence of two women discussing something they didn't particularly want carried through the household.
"— three days in a row now, the same pattern," Mrs. Adare was saying, with the strained, controlled worry of someone who'd long since learned to deliver medical reports without letting the worry through too completely. "The fever isn't returning, but his color is wrong, and he hasn't been eating since Monday. The standing tonic isn't doing what it was."
"I'll adjust the preparation," Hesketh said, in the brisk, efficient tone she used for problems she already knew how to solve.
"The Lord Regent will want to know," Mrs. Adare said.
A small pause. "He's in the middle of receiving four different sets of visitors simultaneously, Mrs. Adare, two of whom are considerably more difficult than he was expecting. I'll manage the adjustment tonight. He doesn't need more to worry about until I've seen whether it works."
"If it doesn't—"
"It will. This is a dosage question, not a deterioration. I've seen this pattern before — the body begins to require a slightly larger measure after an extended illness. It's a good sign, actually, in its own inconvenient way."
Elsie moved past the junction before the conversation concluded, carrying the information away with her along with the several other things she'd already gathered about Emeric's case through months of careful, attentive deliveries — and felt, walking back toward the dispensary, the particular, uncomfortable clarity of knowing something useful that she had, somewhat against the plan she'd made for herself, every practical reason to act on.
---
She sat with the problem for the better part of an hour, while the dispensary's late-afternoon work thinned around her and her colleagues drifted toward their own end-of-day tasks. Hesketh's intended adjustment was sound, as far as it went. But Elsie had been watching Emeric's case specifically for long enough to know that the current pattern — the reduced efficacy, the slight discoloration, the appetite change — had a more precise cause than simple extended-illness tolerance, one she'd noted in her own records three weeks earlier and had been waiting, somewhat uneasily, to see someone else identify.
Hesketh would get there, given time. The adjustment she intended would help, but not correct the underlying issue, and the delay between tonight's preparation and the correct solution would add unnecessary days to a pattern that was, by Mrs. Adare's account, already concerning.
*This is not your responsibility,* the careful, sensible voice in her head pointed out, with the particular firm patience she'd trained into it across five years of exactly this kind of temptation. *You are a dispensary assistant. Hesketh is capable. The correct thing to do is stay out of it and let the person who is actually responsible handle it.*
All of this was true. Elsie was aware that it was true.
She was also aware, with considerably more weight, that she had been watching Emeric's case for two months with the specific, undivided attention of someone who had, however accidentally and however much against her original intentions, come to care about the outcome. Not for any reason connected to Castian, she told herself carefully — or not primarily. Simply because a young man had been ill for years, in a quiet room at the end of a quiet corridor, and she had been the one delivering his medicine, and she knew, with the particular precision of someone who had made this her quiet, private study across two months of careful observation, exactly what the pattern in front of her meant and exactly what would correct it. The knowledge felt, in this moment, less like private property than it had felt an hour ago.
She thought of the notebook entry from their encounter in the rain — *two people who'd each spent years learning to need nothing from anyone* — and recognized, setting pen to paper, that need was perhaps not the right word for what she'd slowly, inconveniently accumulated across two months of watching a man check his brother's medicine logs himself, by candlelight, long after the rest of the household had gone to bed.
She wrote the note. Brief, technical, clinical — precisely the kind of communication she would make about any case where she'd observed something a senior member of the team had missed, stripped entirely of any personal register, signed simply with her dispensary position. She sealed it, took it down to Theon's office on the pretext of an unrelated errand, and handed it to the young aide on duty with the request that it reach Lord Regent Vael that evening, regarding the dispensary case in the east wing.
She walked back to her room afterward with the particular hollow, unsettled feeling of having done something she'd expressly told herself not to do, while being entirely unable to identify which part of it, examined honestly, she actually regretted.
---
She did not sleep easily, but she slept, and woke to the particular, alert quality of early morning that usually meant something had changed in the night without her being present to observe it.
Theon was in the dispensary before the first bell, which was unusual enough to be immediately conspicuous. He said nothing until Elsie had set down the tray she'd been preparing, and when he spoke, it was with the same careful, neutral professionalism he brought to every interaction, giving nothing away about what he thought of finding himself the messenger between a dispensary assistant and the man he served.
"Lord Regent received your note," he said, setting a folded piece of paper on Elsie's worktable beside the tray. "His response."
She unfolded it with hands that were, to her private embarrassment, not entirely steady. The handwriting was tighter and more controlled than she'd expected from a man who'd apparently written it in the small hours of the night — a man who had, she realized, been awake with his brother's condition when the note arrived, or who had woken immediately upon receiving it, which was in some ways considerably more unsettling. He had not waited until morning. He had not passed it back through Hesketh's channels, the entirely reasonable, appropriate response to a junior dispensary hand submitting an unsolicited recommendation outside the normal chain of communication.
He had simply answered.
*Adjustment noted. Implement per your recommendation. — CV.*
Four words beyond the initial instruction. No elaboration. No thanks, formal or otherwise. Simply the brisk, efficient acknowledgment of a man who'd read a careful medical note and acted on it immediately, trusting the judgment of the person who'd written it enough to bypass the usual chain of review entirely. The same way, she understood, that he had apparently always handled matters relating to his brother's care — not with the elaborate apparatus of court procedure, but directly, quickly, without ceremony.
Elsie stood in the dispensary's early morning quiet, reading four words and an initial, and thought of Isolde's careful warning about position and propriety, and Theon's unresolved file and the pattern-keeper's pending watchfulness, and the five years of rules she'd constructed specifically to prevent exactly this accumulation of small, unauthorized connections to the most dangerous person in the kingdom.
She thought of all of this, and she folded the note, and put it in her pocket.
Theon observed this without visible reaction, inclined his head once with the economical courtesy of a man who had clearly formed his own, private opinions about the exchange he'd just facilitated and intended to keep them entirely to himself, and left without further comment.
Elsie stood for a moment in the dispensary's quiet, with his handwriting folded against her side and the day's first tasks waiting, and felt the careful distance she'd spent several days constructing around herself develop, with no particular permission sought, another small, entirely unauthorized crack — the fourth, or perhaps the fifth, depending on how carefully she was counting.
She had stopped counting, she realized, sometime in the night. She was no longer certain when.
You've reached the end of this chapter