The Ash Annex was empty except for the two of them — the gap between Orwin's departure and the start of the next shift, twenty minutes of quiet that happened twice a day and that Seren had used, over the years, for various things: eating, thinking, not doing any of the things the job required for a short enough period that it could be called a break.
Alden had come in during this gap, as he sometimes did, with information from the network or questions about the records work. He sat across from her at the adjacent desk with his coat still on, which was how he sat when he was not staying long.
She looked at him for a moment before speaking. She had been thinking about this for three days and had decided, in the way she decided things — by gathering enough information to proceed and then proceeding — that the thing needed to be said.
“Hồi nhỏ, anh từng nói chúng ta giống nhau,” she said.
He was quiet.
“Unmarked. Lower Rings. Without much. You said we were the same kind of people and I thought that was true.” She looked at the desk surface. “I've spent three months finding out that you're the erased son of House Vaelor and that you carry a mark that can open Vault seals, and I built this whole picture from the outside, record by record. And there were moments — when I was adding pieces to it — when I wasn't sure if I was investigating a case or investigating you.”
He looked at her. He did not speak.
“I need to say that,” she said. “Not because I think you lied to me. You didn't lie to me. You didn't know most of it yourself. But there were moments when I didn't know whether to trust what I was finding because I didn't know what it would mean for — for this.” She made a gesture that covered the space between them. “For working together.”
The lamp between them made its small sound. Somewhere above, the building was making the sounds it made as the morning shift arrived.
“I know,” he said. Two words, even, no defense in them.
She looked up. He was looking at the space between them with the expression he used for things he was working through in real time — not performing the work of thinking but actually doing it, which looked different.
“I've been trying to figure out what I am,” he said. “What I'm supposed to be. Everything I thought I knew — my name, where I came from, what it meant to be Unmarked — that's all changed. The only thing that hasn't changed is what's actually in front of me.” He looked at her. “Which is this.”
She did not answer immediately. The flashback arrived not as a decision but as a presence: Little Sky, the three of them on their backs, the glass fragments catching the light above them.
Cassian had asked what they wanted to be if they could choose. She had said: someone whose name was written correctly. Cassian had said: someone no one could turn away at the door. Alden had been silent for a long time before he said: he only wanted the two of them to not disappear.
He had always known what he wanted. He had always been the one in the group who understood that the thing worth having was not a status or a door but the people you crossed the gap with.
She thought about the gap she had crossed without his hand.
“I'm still working through it,” she said. “The part where I wasn't sure. I'm being honest with you about that because I think you deserve the honesty more than the cleaner version.”
“Yes,” he said. “I do.”
“I also,” she said, more slowly, “think that whatever I was unsure about, I kept coming back to the same evidence. And the evidence kept pointing the same direction.”
“Toward?”
She looked at him. “Toward the fact that you haven't used any of this for yourself. The mark, the access, the things you could have leveraged. You've used all of it to help find Corvin, to protect Merrit, to make sure the people who were erased aren't erased further.” She paused. “That's consistent with the person I've known for twenty years. It's just consistent on a larger scale than I had the data for before.”
He was quiet for a moment. “That's a Records way to describe trusting someone,” he said.
“I know,” she said. “It's how I do it.”
The almost-smile — the one that was barely perceptible, the one she had catalogued — was there for a second before it wasn't.
“I'm not angry that you doubted,” he said. “I probably would have too.”
“I know,” she said again. “That's part of why I'm telling you. Because you would have, and you would have told me, and I wanted to be that kind of honest.”
The shift above them was arriving. They could hear the sound of the building returning to its working state — feet on the floors, the distant bell of the first intake call.
“We should —” she began.
“Yes,” he said.
He stood up and picked up his coat. She turned back to her desk. There was work to do, there was always work to do, and the work was what kept things in their right places while everything else was still becoming what it was going to be.
But before she opened the first record, she let herself sit for a moment with the fact that she had said the thing and he had heard it and they were both still here.
You've reached the end of this chapter
The Ash Annex was empty except for the two of them — the gap between Orwin's departure and the start of the next shift, twenty minutes of quiet that happened twice a day and that Seren had used, over the years, for various things: eating, thinking, not doing any of the things the job required for a short enough period that it could be called a break.
Alden had come in during this gap, as he sometimes did, with information from the network or questions about the records work. He sat across from her at the adjacent desk with his coat still on, which was how he sat when he was not staying long.
She looked at him for a moment before speaking. She had been thinking about this for three days and had decided, in the way she decided things — by gathering enough information to proceed and then proceeding — that the thing needed to be said.
“Hồi nhỏ, anh từng nói chúng ta giống nhau,” she said.
He was quiet.
“Unmarked. Lower Rings. Without much. You said we were the same kind of people and I thought that was true.” She looked at the desk surface. “I've spent three months finding out that you're the erased son of House Vaelor and that you carry a mark that can open Vault seals, and I built this whole picture from the outside, record by record. And there were moments — when I was adding pieces to it — when I wasn't sure if I was investigating a case or investigating you.”
He looked at her. He did not speak.
“I need to say that,” she said. “Not because I think you lied to me. You didn't lie to me. You didn't know most of it yourself. But there were moments when I didn't know whether to trust what I was finding because I didn't know what it would mean for — for this.” She made a gesture that covered the space between them. “For working together.”
The lamp between them made its small sound. Somewhere above, the building was making the sounds it made as the morning shift arrived.
“I know,” he said. Two words, even, no defense in them.
She looked up. He was looking at the space between them with the expression he used for things he was working through in real time — not performing the work of thinking but actually doing it, which looked different.
“I've been trying to figure out what I am,” he said. “What I'm supposed to be. Everything I thought I knew — my name, where I came from, what it meant to be Unmarked — that's all changed. The only thing that hasn't changed is what's actually in front of me.” He looked at her. “Which is this.”
She did not answer immediately. The flashback arrived not as a decision but as a presence: Little Sky, the three of them on their backs, the glass fragments catching the light above them.
Cassian had asked what they wanted to be if they could choose. She had said: someone whose name was written correctly. Cassian had said: someone no one could turn away at the door. Alden had been silent for a long time before he said: he only wanted the two of them to not disappear.
He had always known what he wanted. He had always been the one in the group who understood that the thing worth having was not a status or a door but the people you crossed the gap with.
She thought about the gap she had crossed without his hand.
“I'm still working through it,” she said. “The part where I wasn't sure. I'm being honest with you about that because I think you deserve the honesty more than the cleaner version.”
“Yes,” he said. “I do.”
“I also,” she said, more slowly, “think that whatever I was unsure about, I kept coming back to the same evidence. And the evidence kept pointing the same direction.”
“Toward?”
She looked at him. “Toward the fact that you haven't used any of this for yourself. The mark, the access, the things you could have leveraged. You've used all of it to help find Corvin, to protect Merrit, to make sure the people who were erased aren't erased further.” She paused. “That's consistent with the person I've known for twenty years. It's just consistent on a larger scale than I had the data for before.”
He was quiet for a moment. “That's a Records way to describe trusting someone,” he said.
“I know,” she said. “It's how I do it.”
The almost-smile — the one that was barely perceptible, the one she had catalogued — was there for a second before it wasn't.
“I'm not angry that you doubted,” he said. “I probably would have too.”
“I know,” she said again. “That's part of why I'm telling you. Because you would have, and you would have told me, and I wanted to be that kind of honest.”
The shift above them was arriving. They could hear the sound of the building returning to its working state — feet on the floors, the distant bell of the first intake call.
“We should —” she began.
“Yes,” he said.
He stood up and picked up his coat. She turned back to her desk. There was work to do, there was always work to do, and the work was what kept things in their right places while everything else was still becoming what it was going to be.
But before she opened the first record, she let herself sit for a moment with the fact that she had said the thing and he had heard it and they were both still here.
You've reached the end of this chapter