Chapter 19: The Invitation
Aria Blake's ankle healed, and the moment it did, she ran straight back into the heart of her own life - the track, the team, the bright loud orbit of her admirers - and discovered, to her considerable annoyance, that the heart of her life had moved while she wasn't looking, and now had a boy named Leo Evans sitting in the middle of it.
It was inconvenient. She had things to do. She had an inter-school meet coming up, the biggest of the term, the kind of race that scouts attended and records fell at, and she needed her head clear and her focus absolute. Instead her head kept drifting, at the most ridiculous moments - mid-stretch, mid-stride, mid-sentence with her teammates - to the quiet sunlit nurse's office and a voice asking does it hurt like the answer mattered, and she'd lose her thread and have to be asked twice what she'd been saying, which had never happened to Aria Blake in her life, because Aria Blake was never the one who got distracted. She was the one other people got distracted by.
She dealt with it the way she dealt with everything: by running at it head-on.
If she couldn't stop thinking about him, then fine, she'd just see him more, get her fill, presumably get over it. That was how it worked, right? You wanted a thing, you got the thing, the wanting stopped. It had always worked that way with everything else she'd ever wanted, which was, admittedly, mostly trophies, but the principle ought to transfer.
So she started finding reasons. She'd swing by wherever he was between classes, talk at him in her usual high-velocity stream, bask in the easy way he talked back to her - not dazzled, not careful, just warm and amused and genuinely interested, treating her like a friend rather than a phenomenon, which she'd decided was the single most addictive thing she'd ever encountered and which she absolutely was not going to examine too closely. And it did not, she noted with rising alarm, make the wanting stop. It made it worse. Every easy conversation was a little hit of being seen, and the more she got the more she wanted, and the principle that had governed her whole life - want it, win it, move on - had apparently met the one thing it didn't work on.
Which was how she ended up, on a bright Wednesday, ambushing him outside the science block with an invitation she'd been working up the nerve to deliver for three days and delivered, in the end, at roughly the volume and velocity of a starting pistol.
"Okay so the inter-school meet is Saturday and you should come," Aria said, all in one breath, planting herself in front of him with her arms crossed and her chin up in a pose of total confidence that fooled neither of them. "To watch. Me. Race. It's a big one, there'll be a crowd, it's gonna be - it's a whole thing. You should be there."
Leo, who had learned that the safest response to Aria was usually just to go along with her, blinked. "Sure, that sounds fun. I'd like to watch you race - I bet you're amazing, everyone says you're amazing. What time?"
"It's - wait, really? Just like that? You're not gonna - " Aria had clearly braced for more resistance and seemed briefly thrown by its absence. She recovered at speed. "Yes. Good. Right. Saturday, ten. And - okay, here's the thing." She uncrossed and recrossed her arms. "You have to be there because you're my good luck charm. That's why. It's a luck thing. I ran better when - after the ankle, the recovery times were great, and I've decided that's because of you, statistically, so now you're a variable in my performance and I need you in the stands. For science. It's a science thing." She nodded firmly, having apparently borrowed her cover story from a certain Vance sister without realizing it. "So. You have to come. For luck. And science."
It was, Leo thought, possibly the most transparent thing anyone had ever said to him, and also kind of touching, and he hadn't the faintest idea it was anything more than a friend wanting support at a big event - because of course he didn't, because the idea that Aria Blake, school idol, might be nervous about a race specifically because she wanted to do well in front of him had no purchase whatsoever in a mind that still firmly believed itself to be the least noteworthy person in any room.
"Then I'll definitely be there," he said, smiling. "Lucky charm reporting for duty. Front row?"
"Front row," Aria agreed, and beamed at him with a wattage that made two passing first-years walk into a wall, and bounced off down the corridor radiating enough delight that the news she'd invited The Charm to her meet reached the far end of the school before she did.
Which was, of course, the part Leo didn't think about, and the part that mattered.
Because Silverleaf was a single organism when it came to gossip, and the organism had been tracking the developing situation around the new boy with breathless attention, and the words Aria Blake invited him to the meet, as her good luck charm traveled through it like current through a wire and reached, in short order, every party with a stake in the matter.
It reached Scarlett in the Council office, where she received it with the still-faced calm that meant she was filing something painful, and then quietly cleared her own Saturday, telling herself it was appropriate for the President to show institutional support at a major inter-school event, an explanation that fooled her own sister not at all.
It reached Chloe in the library, where she received it by going very pink and very still, and then, after a long internal calculation, deciding that attending a sporting event was a perfectly normal thing for a student to do and had nothing to do with not wanting to leave the field clear, and quietly resolving to be there too.
And it reached Veronica in the form of an overheard remark, and she received it with the cool unreadable expression of a woman recalculating a board she'd thought she understood, and decided, with the new and unfamiliar ache that had taken up residence in her since the corridor, that she would attend the meet as well. To observe. To understand the competition. To be, for once, simply present in the place where he was, the way the others apparently got to be.
None of which Leo knew. Leo knew only that he'd agreed to watch a friend run a race, which seemed like a nice, normal, low-stakes way to spend a Saturday morning - a refreshingly ordinary thing in a life that had been short on ordinary - and he went to the rest of his classes pleased to have something simple and friendly on his calendar for once.
He did notice, in the days before the meet, that Aria seemed wound tighter than usual. The high energy was still there, but there was an edge under it, a brittleness, and one afternoon he caught her by the lockers staring at nothing with an expression that didn't match the bright noise she usually wore, gnawing at her thumbnail, somewhere far away and not enjoying the view.
He didn't pry. He'd learned that prying made people armor up. He just leaned on the locker next to hers, easy and unhurried, and said, "Hey. You alright? You look like you're somewhere else."
Aria startled, then summoned a grin that was about eighty percent convincing. "I'm great. Just - race brain. Pre-meet stuff. I get like this. It's fine."
"What's race brain feel like?" Leo asked, not challenging it, just curious, opening a door.
And Aria, who had not meant to say any of it, found the door open and the words came out before she could stop them, quieter than her usual register. "It feels like - everything's riding on it. Like if I don't win Saturday then - I dunno. Then what was the point. Of any of it." She laughed, short and not quite real. "The scouts'll be there. And everyone's expecting - I'm the one who wins, that's the whole - if I lose, in front of everyone, then I'm just - " She stopped, jaw tight, having said more than she'd planned.
Leo was quiet for a second. And then he didn't say what everyone always said to Aria - you won't lose, you're the best, you've got this - the reassurances that were really just more weight, more expectation, the same trap dressed as comfort. He said something else.
"You know I'm not coming Saturday to watch you win, right?"
Aria blinked. "...What?"
"I mean it'd be cool if you do, obviously, I'll cheer like an idiot," Leo said. "But that's not why I'm coming. I'm coming to watch you run. Because you love it - I've seen your face when you talk about it, you light up, same as - " he almost said same as Chloe with the physics but caught it " - you just light up. That's the part I want to see. The running, the loving-it part. The win's just a number. If you come dead last but you ran your heart out and loved it, I'd have just as good a time watching. Better, maybe. The number doesn't change whether I'm glad I came."
Aria stared at him.
"So no pressure," Leo finished, gently. "Not from me, anyway. You don't have to win anything to be worth showing up for. You already know I think that. I told you in the nurse's office and I meant it. Just go run. Have fun out there. That's the whole assignment."
And Aria Blake, standing at her locker three days before the biggest race of her term, felt the enormous crushing weight she'd been carrying since she was old enough to win things shift, just slightly, just enough to breathe under - because someone had looked at the thing she was most afraid of, the losing, the falling, the being just-Aria-without-the-trophies, and told her plainly that it wouldn't cost her his regard. That he'd be glad he came regardless. That the running was the point and the winning was just arithmetic.
She didn't have words for what that did to her, so she did the Aria thing and covered it with volume. "Okay, well, I'm still gonna win," she announced, fiercely, blinking hard. "Just - for the record. Not because I have to. Because I want to. There's a difference. I just decided there's a difference, like, right now, so. Yeah."
"There's a huge difference," Leo agreed, smiling. "Go get 'em, Blake."
And that, it turned out, was the thing that changed how she ran.
Because for the first time in her life, when Aria Blake stepped up to the line that Saturday - in front of the scouts, the crowd, the whole watching school, and four girls in those stands who'd each come for the same secret reason - she wasn't running away from the terror of losing, the way she always had, the fear at her back like a dog. She glanced up into the stands, found the one ordinary face that had told her the number didn't matter, and felt something entirely new settle into her legs.
She was running toward something.
The starting pistol cracked.
And Aria Blake ran the race of her life.
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