The curse announced itself, most nights, as sound before it announced itself as anything else.
I had learned to recognize the early signs by the fifth night — a change in the rhythm of Kaelen's breathing, still asleep but no longer resting, a shift from the deep unclenched slowness I'd catalogued on the first night into something shallower, faster, listening even in unconsciousness for a threat his waking mind had spent all day denying existed. I lay on my bench in the dark and tracked it the way I'd once tracked a hostage-taker's breathing through a cracked door, because some information only reveals itself in the space between a person's control and their body's honesty.
Tonight, the shift came earlier than usual, and went further.
His hand found the edge of the bed before his eyes opened, gripping hard enough that I heard the frame protest under his fingers. His breathing had gone ragged, too fast, the specific arrhythmic gasp of a man drowning somewhere his body hadn't caught up to yet, and beneath it — faint, but present in whatever thread ran between us now, sharper each night as the bond settled deeper into both of us — I felt something that had no clean translation into any language I'd ever spoken. Not fear exactly. A kind of pressure. The sensation of a held door being pushed on from the other side by something that had been pushing, patiently, for a very long time.
I understood, in the half-second before he woke fully, that this was the Abyssal Blood Curse doing exactly what everyone in this palace who dared speak of it at all described it as doing: eating.
I had gathered, over the past several days, fragments of what that meant in practical terms — half from the physician's clipped, careful phrasing during a corridor conversation I'd overheard while riding Kaelen's shoulder, half from the way the household staff avoided certain words entirely, the way people avoid naming an illness they're afraid might hear them and decide to worsen out of spite. The curse did not simply weaken him. It fed, slowly and specifically, on the parts of his mind responsible for trust, for rest, for the ordinary human capacity to believe, even briefly, that a room was safe. Every night it went unchecked, it took a little more of that capacity and gave back, in exchange, exactly nothing except more paranoia to fill the space where trust had been.
No physician in this palace, as far as I'd been able to determine, had found a way to slow it. I understood, watching him now, gripping the bed frame in the dark, that whatever I was doing with my small, invented vocabulary of taps and tugs and pressed-close stillness might be the only intervention currently working at all — not a cure, nothing so grand, but a hand on the scale during the hours when the scale mattered most.
---
His eyes opened on nothing. That was the worst part, watching it from the outside — he wasn't looking at a threat in the room, wasn't reacting to sound or shadow or any input a negotiator could work with. He was looking at something only he could see, some memory or hallucination or genuine intrusion the curse manufactured fresh each time it flared, and his hand went from the bed frame to his own throat, pressing, as if checking that his own body was still solid around him.
"Get out," he said. To no one. To the empty room, to whoever the curse had conjured behind his eyes. His voice had none of its daytime iron in it — this was younger, rawer, a register I hadn't heard from him yet and understood immediately I was not supposed to be hearing now. "I said get out. I gave the order. I gave it—"
I had exactly one tool, and I had spent five nights and days sharpening it into something more than a blunt signal. I pushed everything I had toward him at once — not the small, precise nudges I'd used in council chambers and interrogation rooms, but the full weight of whatever calm I could manufacture, steady and total, the way I used to flood a barricaded room with the specific frequency of my own voice until it became the only sound worth listening to.
It didn't stop the episode. I hadn't expected it to; five nights of practice against however many years of accumulated damage was not a fair fight. But I felt it land, felt some fraction of the pressure redirect, and his hand loosened fractionally on his own throat.
I moved closer in the dark, slow enough not to startle whatever fragile balance existed between his sleeping and waking mind, and pressed my full weight against his side. It was, I understood even as I did it, a decision with no tactical precedent in anything I'd built over the preceding five days — not a signal designed to redirect a specific decision, but simply presence, offered without a plan for what it was meant to accomplish beyond the plain fact of not being alone in the dark. I had negotiated hostage releases from behind bulletproof glass, radio in hand, three rooms away from the danger I was managing. I had never, not once in eleven years, let myself get this physically close to the thing I was trying to save.
His breathing hitched again, sharper, and for a moment I thought the contact had made things worse rather than better — a foreign warmth registering, somewhere in his dreaming mind, as one more unidentified threat to catalogue. Then, slowly, the opposite: his hand found my shoulder blades instead of his own throat, gripping instead of grasping, and the particular quality of his breathing began, fraction by fraction, to change.
---
He didn't wake fully. That was, I would come to understand, the particular cruelty of this kind of episode — it existed in a border territory between sleep and consciousness where the mind he governed all day lost its grip on the wheel entirely, leaving only whatever older, rawer version of him the curse had first found purchase in.
"You said it would be quiet," he said, to the dark, to the ceiling, to a person who was almost certainly not in this room and possibly not alive anywhere at all. "You said the curse would take the pain and leave the rest of me. You said—"
His breathing hitched, a sound closer to a wound than a word.
"I trusted you with the last thing I had left."
I lay very still on my bench, close enough now — I had moved, at some point in the last several nights, from the far bench to the floor beside the bed itself, an inch of proximity that had happened so gradually neither of us had marked its crossing — and I understood that I was hearing something no one alive was supposed to hear. Not a state secret. Something worse. The specific shape of the wound underneath every decision he'd made since I arrived: not merely that he had been cursed, but that someone he had trusted completely, someone close enough to be given the last thing he had left, had done this to him on purpose, at the exact moment he was closest to winning something that mattered.
I thought of the girl in the stairwell. I thought of my own rule, built over eleven years and broken exactly once, tonight, without my permission: never let the room become yours. This room had been mine for five days. I had simply refused to notice until his voice cracked in the dark and made the fact impossible to keep filing under professional distance.
---
"They told me the commander was loyal," he said, and this time his voice had steadied slightly, the words coming in the particular flat cadence of someone reciting a story they've told themselves so many times in the dark that the telling itself had become a kind of scar tissue. "I promoted him myself. Gave him the northern command because no one else in that campaign had earned it the way he had. I would have died for him. I very nearly did, three times, before he decided to save me the trouble of dying honestly."
A long silence. His hand, still at his own throat, had gone loose now, no longer defensive, simply resting there the way a hand rests on an old injury out of habit rather than need.
"His name was Aldric," he said, into the dark, and something in the way he said the name — carefully, the way you handle something you've dropped and broken and kept anyway — told me it was the first time in a long while he'd let himself say it aloud at all. "We took the eastern ridge together at Cael's Hollow. I gave him my own cloak the night his froze through, and he gave me back three years of counsel I trusted more than my own instincts, and when the binding circle needed a hand that wouldn't shake, his was the only one in that camp I would have chosen without a second thought."
He laughed, a short, broken sound with nothing of humor left in it.
"They tell me now it was ambition. That the Council promised him my crown once the curse had finished its work slowly enough to look like illness rather than murder. I don't know if that's true. I have stopped being certain I would recognize the truth if it were placed directly in front of me, which is, I am told, one of the curse's more elegant symptoms."
"He held my head while it happened. Did you know that." The question wasn't aimed at me, still wasn't fully aimed at anyone in the room, but something in the shape of it had shifted — an address rather than a monologue, even if he believed, wherever the line between sleep and waking currently sat for him, that nothing in this room could understand a word of it. "He held my head so I wouldn't thrash and break the binding circle. Told me to be still. Told me it would be over soon. And it was the last kind thing anyone had said to me in that entire war, and he meant every word of it, and it was still the worst thing anyone has ever done to me."
I had no voice to answer with. I had, by now, learned that the absence of a voice was not always a limitation. I pressed myself closer against his side, deliberate, slow, a physical presence rather than a tactical signal, and felt — for the first time since the rite — his hand move to rest against my back instead of at his own throat, an unconscious transfer of the same grip from one anchor to another.
---
He didn't fully wake for another several minutes. I stayed exactly where I was, cataloguing his breathing the way I'd catalogue vital signs on a wire, watching the ragged arrhythmia slowly, slowly resolve back into something survivable, and somewhere in that long, dark stretch of time I stopped being able to pretend, even to myself, that I was only doing my job.
This was supposed to be a case. I had built an entire eleven-year career on the specific, disciplined refusal to let any case become anything more personal than a problem requiring a solution. I had negotiated the release of children while feeling, by design, nothing sharper than professional urgency, because feeling more than that had never once made me better at the work — only slower, only more likely to make the mistake that got someone killed. Wound, my own file on myself would have said, if I'd ever let anyone write one: uses distance as a load-bearing wall. Remove the distance, risk structural collapse.
I lay against the side of a man who had, three months into a curse eating him alive, nearly strangled me for looking too aware, and I understood that the wall I had built my entire adult life around had a crack in it now, hairline-thin, recent, and already impossible to fully seal back over.
It should have alarmed me more than it did.
I thought, briefly, of every superior I had ever had who'd warned me, in one phrasing or another, about the specific danger of caring too much about the outcome of a case rather than merely its resolution. Care about the person, they'd tell me, not the person's survival specifically — one is a variable you can influence, the other is a hope you're carrying that will eventually break your judgment along with your heart. I had believed them. I had built a decade on believing them, and it had made me good at the job in exactly the way they'd promised it would.
Nothing in that training had accounted for a body with no exit, bonded by a curse-adjacent rite to a man whose survival and my own had been welded together by forces neither of us had chosen. Distance, in this particular case, was not merely inadvisable. It was structurally impossible. I could refuse to feel anything about the outcome of tonight's episode, and it would change nothing about the fact that his life and mine were now, mechanically, one continuous variable. The old rule had assumed I always retained the option to walk away once the case closed. Here, there was no closing. There was only this room, this man, and whatever version of care I was going to have to learn to carry without it costing either of us the clarity that had kept both of us alive so far.
I did not resolve the question that night. I only understood, for the first time with total clarity, that it was now a question, where before it had simply been a rule I'd never had cause to test.
---
He woke, properly, an hour before the false dawn I'd already learned to expect from him, and for a long moment he simply lay still, staring at the ceiling with the specific blankness of a man reassembling himself out of pieces the night had scattered.
He didn't ask if I'd heard anything. I understood, watching him carefully avoid looking directly at me, that some part of him already knew the answer and had decided, for now, that the question itself was more dangerous than whatever truth it might surface. Grief deferred is still grief. He simply chose, in the grey half-light, to defer it one more day.
What he did instead, when he finally rose, was reach down and lift me — not with the rough, functional grip of the first days, and not even with the increasingly careful competence of the last two, but with something that had, for the first time, no calculation in it at all. He settled me against his shoulder the way a man settles a familiar weight he no longer has to think about, and carried me out into the corridor toward whatever the day had planned for him, and said nothing about the night, and I said nothing back, because neither of us yet had the language for what had actually happened between us in the dark.
The physician was waiting near the council chamber's outer door, satchel in hand, the same watchful attention I'd noted days earlier fixed now with slightly sharper focus on the faint grey shadows beneath Kaelen's eyes. He said nothing about it either — a court physician's silence, I was learning, was its own carefully calibrated instrument, deployed exactly as deliberately as any spoken diagnosis — but he held Kaelen's gaze a half-second longer than strict protocol required, and Kaelen, to my mild surprise, held it back rather than brushing past.
"It was a bad night," Kaelen said. Four words, offered without elaboration, and yet more than I'd have predicted him capable of admitting to anyone with a pulse.
"They will continue to be bad nights, Majesty, until the source is found." The physician's voice carried the particular careful neutrality of a man who had delivered this same warning many times before and had learned not to expect it to land any differently this time. "I can treat the symptoms. I cannot treat what caused them."
"I am aware." Kaelen's tone had gone flat again, the morning's iron reasserting itself, though I felt, through the thread between us, that the flatness cost him something new today it hadn't cost him yesterday. "Find me something new to try. I am running out of nights I can afford to lose."
There was no self-pity in the way he said it, no invitation for the physician's sympathy — only the flat accounting of a man who had learned to speak about his own deterioration the way he might speak about a garrison running low on supplies, a resource problem to be managed rather than a wound to be tended. I understood, cataloguing the exchange the way I catalogued everything, that this particular kind of stoicism was its own quiet tragedy: a man capable of naming his own crisis with total clarity, and entirely unable to imagine that naming it to someone might also mean asking for help with it.
The physician bowed and withdrew, and Kaelen stood a moment longer in the corridor, one hand rising unconsciously to rest against my back where I sat curled against his shoulder, before he continued on toward whatever the council had assembled to argue about that morning.
But I understood, walking the gold-veined corridors from that new vantage point on his shoulder instead of cradled in his arm, that something in the terms of the negotiation had shifted permanently overnight, in a direction no amount of professional distance was going to walk back.
I had wanted, once, to be useful to him. I no longer entirely trusted that this was still the whole of what I wanted, and some old, careful part of me — the part that had built an entire career on never letting a case become anything closer than a professional obligation — understood exactly how much more dangerous that admission was than anything a poisoned cup or a suspicious courtier had managed to threaten me with yet.
You've reached the end of this chapter
The curse announced itself, most nights, as sound before it announced itself as anything else.
I had learned to recognize the early signs by the fifth night — a change in the rhythm of Kaelen's breathing, still asleep but no longer resting, a shift from the deep unclenched slowness I'd catalogued on the first night into something shallower, faster, listening even in unconsciousness for a threat his waking mind had spent all day denying existed. I lay on my bench in the dark and tracked it the way I'd once tracked a hostage-taker's breathing through a cracked door, because some information only reveals itself in the space between a person's control and their body's honesty.
Tonight, the shift came earlier than usual, and went further.
His hand found the edge of the bed before his eyes opened, gripping hard enough that I heard the frame protest under his fingers. His breathing had gone ragged, too fast, the specific arrhythmic gasp of a man drowning somewhere his body hadn't caught up to yet, and beneath it — faint, but present in whatever thread ran between us now, sharper each night as the bond settled deeper into both of us — I felt something that had no clean translation into any language I'd ever spoken. Not fear exactly. A kind of pressure. The sensation of a held door being pushed on from the other side by something that had been pushing, patiently, for a very long time.
I understood, in the half-second before he woke fully, that this was the Abyssal Blood Curse doing exactly what everyone in this palace who dared speak of it at all described it as doing: eating.
I had gathered, over the past several days, fragments of what that meant in practical terms — half from the physician's clipped, careful phrasing during a corridor conversation I'd overheard while riding Kaelen's shoulder, half from the way the household staff avoided certain words entirely, the way people avoid naming an illness they're afraid might hear them and decide to worsen out of spite. The curse did not simply weaken him. It fed, slowly and specifically, on the parts of his mind responsible for trust, for rest, for the ordinary human capacity to believe, even briefly, that a room was safe. Every night it went unchecked, it took a little more of that capacity and gave back, in exchange, exactly nothing except more paranoia to fill the space where trust had been.
No physician in this palace, as far as I'd been able to determine, had found a way to slow it. I understood, watching him now, gripping the bed frame in the dark, that whatever I was doing with my small, invented vocabulary of taps and tugs and pressed-close stillness might be the only intervention currently working at all — not a cure, nothing so grand, but a hand on the scale during the hours when the scale mattered most.
---
His eyes opened on nothing. That was the worst part, watching it from the outside — he wasn't looking at a threat in the room, wasn't reacting to sound or shadow or any input a negotiator could work with. He was looking at something only he could see, some memory or hallucination or genuine intrusion the curse manufactured fresh each time it flared, and his hand went from the bed frame to his own throat, pressing, as if checking that his own body was still solid around him.
"Get out," he said. To no one. To the empty room, to whoever the curse had conjured behind his eyes. His voice had none of its daytime iron in it — this was younger, rawer, a register I hadn't heard from him yet and understood immediately I was not supposed to be hearing now. "I said get out. I gave the order. I gave it—"
I had exactly one tool, and I had spent five nights and days sharpening it into something more than a blunt signal. I pushed everything I had toward him at once — not the small, precise nudges I'd used in council chambers and interrogation rooms, but the full weight of whatever calm I could manufacture, steady and total, the way I used to flood a barricaded room with the specific frequency of my own voice until it became the only sound worth listening to.
It didn't stop the episode. I hadn't expected it to; five nights of practice against however many years of accumulated damage was not a fair fight. But I felt it land, felt some fraction of the pressure redirect, and his hand loosened fractionally on his own throat.
I moved closer in the dark, slow enough not to startle whatever fragile balance existed between his sleeping and waking mind, and pressed my full weight against his side. It was, I understood even as I did it, a decision with no tactical precedent in anything I'd built over the preceding five days — not a signal designed to redirect a specific decision, but simply presence, offered without a plan for what it was meant to accomplish beyond the plain fact of not being alone in the dark. I had negotiated hostage releases from behind bulletproof glass, radio in hand, three rooms away from the danger I was managing. I had never, not once in eleven years, let myself get this physically close to the thing I was trying to save.
His breathing hitched again, sharper, and for a moment I thought the contact had made things worse rather than better — a foreign warmth registering, somewhere in his dreaming mind, as one more unidentified threat to catalogue. Then, slowly, the opposite: his hand found my shoulder blades instead of his own throat, gripping instead of grasping, and the particular quality of his breathing began, fraction by fraction, to change.
---
He didn't wake fully. That was, I would come to understand, the particular cruelty of this kind of episode — it existed in a border territory between sleep and consciousness where the mind he governed all day lost its grip on the wheel entirely, leaving only whatever older, rawer version of him the curse had first found purchase in.
"You said it would be quiet," he said, to the dark, to the ceiling, to a person who was almost certainly not in this room and possibly not alive anywhere at all. "You said the curse would take the pain and leave the rest of me. You said—"
His breathing hitched, a sound closer to a wound than a word.
"I trusted you with the last thing I had left."
I lay very still on my bench, close enough now — I had moved, at some point in the last several nights, from the far bench to the floor beside the bed itself, an inch of proximity that had happened so gradually neither of us had marked its crossing — and I understood that I was hearing something no one alive was supposed to hear. Not a state secret. Something worse. The specific shape of the wound underneath every decision he'd made since I arrived: not merely that he had been cursed, but that someone he had trusted completely, someone close enough to be given the last thing he had left, had done this to him on purpose, at the exact moment he was closest to winning something that mattered.
I thought of the girl in the stairwell. I thought of my own rule, built over eleven years and broken exactly once, tonight, without my permission: never let the room become yours. This room had been mine for five days. I had simply refused to notice until his voice cracked in the dark and made the fact impossible to keep filing under professional distance.
---
"They told me the commander was loyal," he said, and this time his voice had steadied slightly, the words coming in the particular flat cadence of someone reciting a story they've told themselves so many times in the dark that the telling itself had become a kind of scar tissue. "I promoted him myself. Gave him the northern command because no one else in that campaign had earned it the way he had. I would have died for him. I very nearly did, three times, before he decided to save me the trouble of dying honestly."
A long silence. His hand, still at his own throat, had gone loose now, no longer defensive, simply resting there the way a hand rests on an old injury out of habit rather than need.
"His name was Aldric," he said, into the dark, and something in the way he said the name — carefully, the way you handle something you've dropped and broken and kept anyway — told me it was the first time in a long while he'd let himself say it aloud at all. "We took the eastern ridge together at Cael's Hollow. I gave him my own cloak the night his froze through, and he gave me back three years of counsel I trusted more than my own instincts, and when the binding circle needed a hand that wouldn't shake, his was the only one in that camp I would have chosen without a second thought."
He laughed, a short, broken sound with nothing of humor left in it.
"They tell me now it was ambition. That the Council promised him my crown once the curse had finished its work slowly enough to look like illness rather than murder. I don't know if that's true. I have stopped being certain I would recognize the truth if it were placed directly in front of me, which is, I am told, one of the curse's more elegant symptoms."
"He held my head while it happened. Did you know that." The question wasn't aimed at me, still wasn't fully aimed at anyone in the room, but something in the shape of it had shifted — an address rather than a monologue, even if he believed, wherever the line between sleep and waking currently sat for him, that nothing in this room could understand a word of it. "He held my head so I wouldn't thrash and break the binding circle. Told me to be still. Told me it would be over soon. And it was the last kind thing anyone had said to me in that entire war, and he meant every word of it, and it was still the worst thing anyone has ever done to me."
I had no voice to answer with. I had, by now, learned that the absence of a voice was not always a limitation. I pressed myself closer against his side, deliberate, slow, a physical presence rather than a tactical signal, and felt — for the first time since the rite — his hand move to rest against my back instead of at his own throat, an unconscious transfer of the same grip from one anchor to another.
---
He didn't fully wake for another several minutes. I stayed exactly where I was, cataloguing his breathing the way I'd catalogue vital signs on a wire, watching the ragged arrhythmia slowly, slowly resolve back into something survivable, and somewhere in that long, dark stretch of time I stopped being able to pretend, even to myself, that I was only doing my job.
This was supposed to be a case. I had built an entire eleven-year career on the specific, disciplined refusal to let any case become anything more personal than a problem requiring a solution. I had negotiated the release of children while feeling, by design, nothing sharper than professional urgency, because feeling more than that had never once made me better at the work — only slower, only more likely to make the mistake that got someone killed. Wound, my own file on myself would have said, if I'd ever let anyone write one: uses distance as a load-bearing wall. Remove the distance, risk structural collapse.
I lay against the side of a man who had, three months into a curse eating him alive, nearly strangled me for looking too aware, and I understood that the wall I had built my entire adult life around had a crack in it now, hairline-thin, recent, and already impossible to fully seal back over.
It should have alarmed me more than it did.
I thought, briefly, of every superior I had ever had who'd warned me, in one phrasing or another, about the specific danger of caring too much about the outcome of a case rather than merely its resolution. Care about the person, they'd tell me, not the person's survival specifically — one is a variable you can influence, the other is a hope you're carrying that will eventually break your judgment along with your heart. I had believed them. I had built a decade on believing them, and it had made me good at the job in exactly the way they'd promised it would.
Nothing in that training had accounted for a body with no exit, bonded by a curse-adjacent rite to a man whose survival and my own had been welded together by forces neither of us had chosen. Distance, in this particular case, was not merely inadvisable. It was structurally impossible. I could refuse to feel anything about the outcome of tonight's episode, and it would change nothing about the fact that his life and mine were now, mechanically, one continuous variable. The old rule had assumed I always retained the option to walk away once the case closed. Here, there was no closing. There was only this room, this man, and whatever version of care I was going to have to learn to carry without it costing either of us the clarity that had kept both of us alive so far.
I did not resolve the question that night. I only understood, for the first time with total clarity, that it was now a question, where before it had simply been a rule I'd never had cause to test.
---
He woke, properly, an hour before the false dawn I'd already learned to expect from him, and for a long moment he simply lay still, staring at the ceiling with the specific blankness of a man reassembling himself out of pieces the night had scattered.
He didn't ask if I'd heard anything. I understood, watching him carefully avoid looking directly at me, that some part of him already knew the answer and had decided, for now, that the question itself was more dangerous than whatever truth it might surface. Grief deferred is still grief. He simply chose, in the grey half-light, to defer it one more day.
What he did instead, when he finally rose, was reach down and lift me — not with the rough, functional grip of the first days, and not even with the increasingly careful competence of the last two, but with something that had, for the first time, no calculation in it at all. He settled me against his shoulder the way a man settles a familiar weight he no longer has to think about, and carried me out into the corridor toward whatever the day had planned for him, and said nothing about the night, and I said nothing back, because neither of us yet had the language for what had actually happened between us in the dark.
The physician was waiting near the council chamber's outer door, satchel in hand, the same watchful attention I'd noted days earlier fixed now with slightly sharper focus on the faint grey shadows beneath Kaelen's eyes. He said nothing about it either — a court physician's silence, I was learning, was its own carefully calibrated instrument, deployed exactly as deliberately as any spoken diagnosis — but he held Kaelen's gaze a half-second longer than strict protocol required, and Kaelen, to my mild surprise, held it back rather than brushing past.
"It was a bad night," Kaelen said. Four words, offered without elaboration, and yet more than I'd have predicted him capable of admitting to anyone with a pulse.
"They will continue to be bad nights, Majesty, until the source is found." The physician's voice carried the particular careful neutrality of a man who had delivered this same warning many times before and had learned not to expect it to land any differently this time. "I can treat the symptoms. I cannot treat what caused them."
"I am aware." Kaelen's tone had gone flat again, the morning's iron reasserting itself, though I felt, through the thread between us, that the flatness cost him something new today it hadn't cost him yesterday. "Find me something new to try. I am running out of nights I can afford to lose."
There was no self-pity in the way he said it, no invitation for the physician's sympathy — only the flat accounting of a man who had learned to speak about his own deterioration the way he might speak about a garrison running low on supplies, a resource problem to be managed rather than a wound to be tended. I understood, cataloguing the exchange the way I catalogued everything, that this particular kind of stoicism was its own quiet tragedy: a man capable of naming his own crisis with total clarity, and entirely unable to imagine that naming it to someone might also mean asking for help with it.
The physician bowed and withdrew, and Kaelen stood a moment longer in the corridor, one hand rising unconsciously to rest against my back where I sat curled against his shoulder, before he continued on toward whatever the council had assembled to argue about that morning.
But I understood, walking the gold-veined corridors from that new vantage point on his shoulder instead of cradled in his arm, that something in the terms of the negotiation had shifted permanently overnight, in a direction no amount of professional distance was going to walk back.
I had wanted, once, to be useful to him. I no longer entirely trusted that this was still the whole of what I wanted, and some old, careful part of me — the part that had built an entire career on never letting a case become anything closer than a professional obligation — understood exactly how much more dangerous that admission was than anything a poisoned cup or a suspicious courtier had managed to threaten me with yet.
You've reached the end of this chapter