Chapter 21: Almost
Leo's invitation came with no occasion attached, no anniversary or celebration to justify it — just a knock on her door on a perfectly ordinary Wednesday evening and a slightly sheepish grin.
"I'm making pasta," he said, by way of explanation. "Nothing fancy. I just didn't want to eat alone tonight, and you're the best company I know who won't judge me for using jarred sauce."
"I would never judge you for jarred sauce," Zoey said, already reaching for her shoes. "I judge people who pretend they don't use it. Honesty is the only sauce policy I respect."
His kitchen, by the time she arrived, was already in cheerful disarray — a pot of water beginning to simmer, garlic half-chopped on the cutting board, Mochi supervising the entire operation from atop the refrigerator with the detached authority of a health inspector who had already decided to fail the establishment regardless of what he found.
"You can chop," Leo said, sliding the cutting board toward her, "since my knife skills are, and I quote my mother, 'concerning.'"
"High praise," Zoey said, picking up the knife anyway, settling into the small, comfortable rhythm of working alongside him in a space that had become, over the past weeks, almost as familiar as her own kitchen.
They moved around each other with the easy, unconscious coordination of two people who had cooked together enough times now to have worked out an unspoken choreography — Leo reaching past her for the olive oil just as she stepped back to give him room, both of them going for the same wooden spoon at the same moment, hands brushing, neither pulling away quite as quickly as the moment strictly required.
"Sorry," Zoey murmured, the word coming out softer than she meant it to, her hand still resting half over his on the spoon's handle.
"Don't be," Leo said, and didn't move his hand either, the two of them standing close in the small kitchen, steam rising gently from the pot beside them, something in the air shifting from ordinary domestic warmth into something quieter, more charged.
Zoey looked up at him. He was already looking at her, something careful and searching in his expression, like he'd been building toward this moment for longer than just the last thirty seconds.
"Zoey," he said, quietly, his hand finally closing fully around hers on the spoon, setting it down, freeing both their hands for something else entirely. "I think I need to tell you something."
Her heart did something complicated and enormous in her chest. She knew, with sudden, absolute certainty, exactly what he was about to say — could feel the shape of it in the air between them, three words that had been building for weeks now, in hedgehogs and fixed faucets and patient, unhurried waiting.
"Okay," she said, breath catching, some old fear and some new, fierce hope colliding somewhere behind her ribs.
Leo took a breath, something vulnerable and open crossing his face, the careful composure he usually wore stripped away entirely. "I've been wanting to say this for a while now, and I think—"
The smoke alarm went off.
Not a gentle chirp this time, not the low-battery warning she'd once climbed a stool to fix, but the full, shrieking blare of an actual fire alarm, triggered by the pot of pasta water that had, in their mutual distraction, boiled over onto the open flame beneath it, sending up a plume of acrid smoke that instantly filled the small kitchen.
"Oh — shoot—" Leo lunged for the stove, yanking the pot off the burner with a curse, water sloshing everywhere, while Zoey scrambled for the window, throwing it open to clear the smoke, both of them coughing slightly, the romantic tension of thirty seconds ago replaced entirely by the frantic, undignified business of averting a minor kitchen disaster.
Mochi, unimpressed by the entire spectacle, relocated from the refrigerator to the far corner of the living room, tail flicking with visible disdain.
"Well," Leo said, once the alarm had finally quieted and the smoke had mostly cleared, standing amid a small disaster of spilled pasta water and singed garlic, looking so thoroughly, comically defeated that Zoey couldn't help the laugh that burst out of her. "That's one way to kill a moment."
"I think you were about to say something," Zoey said, breathless with laughter, wiping at her eyes.
"I was," Leo agreed, laughing too now, though something in his expression still carried the ghost of what he'd been about to say. "The universe apparently disagreed with the timing."
They spent the next twenty minutes cleaning up the mess together — mopping the stove, salvaging what pasta they could, opening every window in the apartment to clear the last of the smoke — and by the time they finally sat down to eat, considerably later than planned, sharing a somewhat overcooked, faintly smoky dinner at his small kitchen table, the charged, suspended moment from earlier had settled into something gentler, quieter, though no less present for having been interrupted.
Zoey noticed Leo glancing at her once or twice during dinner, like he was gathering himself to try again, and some old, stubborn instinct in her — not fear exactly, not this time, but a kind of protective caution, a wish to have this particular conversation on steadier ground than a kitchen still smelling faintly of burnt garlic — made her gently steer them toward easier topics instead: the studio, Mochi's ongoing feud with the vacuum, the ridiculous state of her stalled manuscript.
Leo let her. He didn't push, didn't try to force the moment back into being, simply followed her lead into lighter conversation with the same patient ease he'd shown her from the very beginning.
But she caught him, once, near the end of the meal, watching her with an expression that made her chest ache pleasantly — something fond, and searching, and entirely unhurried, like a man content to wait exactly as long as it took, confident that whatever had almost been said tonight would find its way out eventually, smoke alarm or no smoke alarm.
She left a little later than she meant to, lingering at his door with a warmth in her chest she didn't quite have words for yet.
"Sorry about dinner," Leo said, at the doorway, something rueful and warm in his smile.
"Sorry about the sentence," Zoey said, softer, meeting his eyes.
"It's still true," Leo said, quiet, echoing words he'd said to her weeks ago in an entirely different context, though the meaning now felt larger, more specific, more clearly aimed at the exact three words neither of them had quite managed to say yet. "Whatever I was going to say. It'll still be true tomorrow."
Zoey nodded, something in her throat too tight for a proper response, and pressed a soft, lingering kiss to his cheek instead, feeling him go still beneath it, feeling the warmth of his hand come up to rest gently at her waist.
"Goodnight, Leo," she murmured.
"Goodnight, Zoey."
She crossed the hall back to her own apartment, closed the door, and stood there for a long moment in the dark, heart still racing with the unfinished shape of whatever he'd almost said.
She lay awake a long while that night, staring at her ceiling, replaying the moment before the alarm — his hand over hers, the careful, open vulnerability in his face, the three words she was almost entirely certain had been building behind his teeth.
She thought about saying them first. About crossing the hall right now, knocking on his door, finishing what the smoke alarm had interrupted before either of them lost their nerve entirely.
She didn't, not tonight. Some old caution still held her back, some quiet, careful part of her that wanted the moment to arrive on its own, without either of them forcing it prematurely.
But she fell asleep, finally, with a small, private smile on her face, entirely certain — for the first time in longer than she could remember — that whatever had almost happened tonight was not a matter of if, but only of when.
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